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Eco style and the big, fat, green wedding

The 100% Recyclable Celebration Has Arrived In The West And It's There To Stay

New York: Kate Harrison's idea of a fairy tale wedding is like this: Gather 150 friends and relatives at an organic farm for a pre-wedding day of hikes and eco tours. Calculate the mileage guests will travel and offset their carbon dioxide emissions by donating to programs that plant trees or preserve rain forests. Use local and seasonal flowers for decorations, instead of burning up fuel transporting them. Design an organic autumnal menu. Find a vintage dress to avoid waste of a gown that will never be worn again.

"It's worth it to start your life together in line with your values," said Harrison, a student at Yale, who is to marry in October. "You don't want this event to come at the expense of the environment or workers in another country."

People in the wedding business say the "green" wedding has arrived, its appeal expanded to spur a mini-industry of stores and sites offering couples biodegradable plates made of sugar cane fibre and flowers grown according to sustainable farming practices. The quality and choice of products has so steadily improved that the green concept is spreading to other kinds of parties, allowing hosts to embrace the earth without sacrificing style.

"People are making decisions based on environmental concerns," said Gerald Prolman, founder of online organic florist Organic Bouquet. "Whether it's food, cotton or flowers, people are asking questions: How are farmworkers treated? Who produced the product? How is the environment affected in that process?"

Eric Fenster, owner of Back to Earth, an organic catering company, said when he started his business in 2001, his clients consisted exclusively of environmental groups. But the market has expanded to make weddings a third of his business.

And few events offer as many opportunities to say "I care" than a wedding, whose average cost is $25,000 to $30,000. Bridal magazines, too, have recognised the trend, and a new site, Portovert.com, made its appearance last month, catering to "eco-savvy brides and grooms."

Even the honeymoon can be green without roughing it. "You used to have to go camping," said Ted Ning, director of Lohas Journal, a guide for businesses serving the eco-conscious market. "Now you have these amazing luxurious spas in Africa or Fiji. You can look at different animals while getting a massage in a tree."

But can weddings really make a dent in global warming? Janet Larsen, the director of research at the Earth Policy Institute, an environmental research group in Washington, said that every little bit helps. "All the actions add up," she said. "Anything individuals can do to reduce their overall environmental footprint can make a difference."

Weddings are undoubtedly great fun, but it's the preparations that go into them that may drive one up the wall. Here are a few tips to make marriage preparations a real delight.

Online ads giving lost lovers a second chance

New York: Ever locked eyes with a stranger on a train or in a store, become quickly intrigued, and later regretted not even saying "hello."

In a fast-paced world growing ever faster online, the Web is replacing the newspaper personal ad as a place where people can act belatedly on that moment of magical chemistry - with some fleeting encounters even leading to marriage.

At social networking and advertising site Craigslist.org, a subsection called Missed Connections, is rapidly becoming a destination for second chance encounters, and its ads tell tales of infatuation, hope, frustration and love.

Craigslist's Chief Executive Jim Buckmaster said he had heard of several marriages forged through Missed Connections which was set up in 2000. Use of the site has surged in the past three years to 75,000 new postings a month from 18,000, with San Francisco the biggest market then New York.

"It is a long shot but hope springs eternal - and people seem to have a weakness for long shots," Buckmaster said.

Ads on the site read like this: "Birmingham girl with Stella Artois at Gristedes!!!! I do not know why I did not invite you to drink beers with me...! hope is not late, I would love to."

Or this: "Confused Brunette On The A Train This Morning: You came into my A train, but quickly turned around and exited. I wish you stayed." But in New York - a city crammed with eight million people - what are the chances that the stranger from across the train will log on to the site that day, find the post and respond?

Ask Mark Svartz. While standing in line for two hours to have a book signed by American writer Jonathan Safran Foer, Svartz, 27, chatted with the girl standing in front of him. They did not exchange even their names.

"The next morning I realized that it probably would have been smart to get a number," he said.

Like the 15 million other people in the US and Canada who use Craigslist.org each month, Svartz, an advertising executive from Manhattan, sometimes reads the Missed Connections posts for kicks. Now he had a reason to make the leap from voyeur to participant.

Board that loveboat...

Looking for love? Waiting for the right one to come around? Then stop dreaming and start doing. We tell you how to get going...

Long Distance Relationships: Distance No Bar for Love Birds

For couples staying apart this Valentine's Day, it is a tough week indeed! Now, you know why lovers count their happiness in hours, minutes and seconds

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. So said the Bard. And it holds true for today's couples too. Ask those who will be away from each other on this Valentine's Day. With the V-Day falling on a week day this year, many couples who are in a long distance relationship are feeling the heat, a bit too much. With the Gen Y becoming more and more conscious of having a well settled career before say settling down, many young men and women today are going out of the city to study or work, leaving their partners to do their own bit.

For some like Darryl Dimeck who is presently in Boston working with a software company, it was a well thought, conscious decision to move out. "My girlfriend is in New York pursuing her Management studies. We have been in a relationship for two years now. When an opportunity came for me to work, we gave it a serious thought as to how important are our careers for us and how the distance would affect our relationship. Thankfully, so far we have been doing pretty well."

With both the partners busy with their own circle of friends and not having to share everthing with each other does lend a sort of independence. But then you can't reach out to your partner anytime you feel like. You have to be mindful of the other's time and space. Hance, many feel that the fun and spontaneity of the union does get affected by the distance.

Junita Paul, working with an NGO in Florida, was in New Jersey for two years to work, leaving behind her boyfriend to concentrate on his studies. "There were problems. For instance, if I was working, I wouldn't attend his calls and vice versa. This led to differences. But I guess both of us managed to keep it going. We would plan our trips in such a way as to meet each other whenever possible."

The distance also has its ugly head. That of distrust. The loyalty of each partner is questionable. Junita's lawyer boyfriend Steve says, "There were communication gaps, no spontaneity in the relationship and of course we weren't meeting regularly. But we had to eliminate the distrust. I believe how much trust you can put into your partner is the key to a successful long distance relationship."

The pressures of long distance are very tough to cope up with. So sometimes it ends in heartbreak and sometimes in weddding bells. Says Fred Waters who bumped into his wife on phone, met her after a month, dated for another ten months living in different cities before finally proposing her, "We knew the relationship could become stale with no fun. But we always tried to keep the relationship alive with humour and surprises. We could crack jokes on phone, share the day's happenings, send surprise gifts or cards to each other. It did help."

Stephanie, currently in UK with her husband James lived apart for an year post marriage. With her being in Canada and him being in UK it was a 'high maintenenace relationship'. But the 'extra efforts put in for constant reassurance of one's presence in the other's life made the going little less tough' she says.

But not all is as comfortable as it seems. Apart from understanding and love you've got to be quiet lenient with your purse strings. Explains Martha, working as a consultant in California, "My relationship is a long distance one. My boyfriend is based in Montana. We have to keep shunting between California and Montana on weekends. And then to keep in constant touch, a lot of money goes into paying heavy telephone bills."

Now that surely hurts!

Distance does not spell the end of a relationship

Loving Your Long Distance Relationship by Stephen Blake is a Proven Step-By-Step Guide on how you can manage your Long Distance Relationships effectively.

After reading Loving Your Long Distance Relationship you'll be able to avoid potential relationship problems ... and realize how easy it is to stay together while you're apart from the one you love!

Relationships: Jealous, Huh?

If your partner's close association with a co-worker has left you feeling envious, here's how you can deal with it...

Trust your Partner

Every relationship should be based on trust. Trust is basically a mutual understanding between two partners. If there is no trust, it leads to jealousy.

Involve your Partner

If both are in different professions, there is some uncertainity. Try and involve your partner in what you do. Let him/her see the kind of work you do.

Be Open and Communicate

Maintain a certain amount of transparency in the relationship. If there is something important, talk to each other. Avoid hiding things from your partner. Be careful, however, for too much transparency can make a relationship monotonous and dry.

Face the Problem

If jealousy does creep in, don't avoid the topic discuss it with your partner. Ideally you should have a thorough discussion about the issue.

Check your Emotions

Jealousy is a healthy feeling. Everything about jealousy is not negative. You just need to accept that you are getting jealous and deal with it. It can make you a better person. A high amount of jealousy however could lead to destruction.

Simple, Easy To Follow Ideas That Help You Overcome Jealousy NOW!

Forget Mr Right, women actually prefer Mr Medium

It has long been assumed that when women look for love then a large salary, a fast car and a high-flying job will make a gentleman more attractive. But scientists have found that women actually prefer a man of medium status rather than one who is a soaraway success.

This is because they think attractive successful men are "too good to be true" and the relationship won't last. They also fear such a man is more likely to be unfaithful and will lack the time and dedication to help raise children.

The new study looking at what women want from a long-term partner was conducted by researchers at the University of Central Lancashire. They took a series of photographs of 60 men in their twenties and asked students to on a physical attractiveness scale. Six from the good-looking group, six considered average and the same number judged unattractive were then selected.

Alongside each photograph was information on the man's age, what he was looking for in a partner, and a randomly chosen profession.

The 18 different occupations included highest status jobs such as architect and company director, medium status position such as teacher or travel agent and finally low status roles such as waiter, postman and gardener.

An example of the kind of "personal ad" that accompanied each photograph was: "Easy going architect, 25, good sense of humour into socialising would like to meet understanding girl for fun and friendship." Another read: "Amusing male, 25, teacher, outgoing, likes fun times, seeks down to earth girls for fun relationship." The psychologists took 186 female students with an average age of 23 and asked them to rate the attractiveness of each man as a long-term partner.

The study, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, found that purely on looks, the best-looking men were rated highest. But within this group, when socio-economic status was taken into account intriguing differences emerged. Those who were good looking and had a medium status job scored more highly than attractive men with more high-flying jobs. Meanwhile low-status males came out worst of all.

The researchers led by Simon Chu concluded: "While women might prefer men who score highly on both attractiveness and resource-holding potential, it remains possible that these men might be perceived as being too good to be true.

"In other words, a high level of physical attractiveness coupled with high status may be an especially attractive package to other women as well and men in this position may be more likely to pursue a mating rather than a parenting strategy."

He suggested another explanation could be that women, especially those who hope to have their own career, are also subconsciously considering how much time could devote to raising children. "While increasing status brings clear resource benefits, this may also bring a trade-off with the amount of child-rearing time that high status individuals have available," he said.

"It is likely that high-status individuals can afford less time to devote to childcare than individuals of lower status."

Single? Be Your Own Valentine

If you think you will be the only person without a concrete Valentine's Day agenda, then you are wrong, chances are that there will be many more who'll be without a date.

Dine with friends
Don't make any plans weeks in advance. Call your friends or classmates who are also single and plan to meet at a restaurant. This sure will be better than sitting at home and surfing dating websites.

Watch a movie
Neither do theatres shut down on Valentine's Day nor is your single status an issue. Go entertain yourself by watching a new flick and if you don't have company you can buy yourself a single ticket. Choose to enjoy your own company for a couple of hours.

Pamper yourself
Gift yourself a book or book yourself a massage. Show yourself a little love this Valentine's Day.

The other side
You'll be pleasantly surprised at all the other single people if you happen to visit your local bookstore or cafe. Cuddle up with a good book and a cup of coffee. Strike a conversation with people around and enjoy good company.

It's party time
Check your college campus for events on Valentine's Day. You can go enjoy parties and it'll be a good way to find good friends too.

Women put cells before sex: Poll

Mobile phones have invaded our personal spheres to an extent that women would be happy to give up sex than their phones.

A recent survey by Dial-a-Phone, a leading UK mobile phone retailer, revealed that 21st Century dating has indeed entered the mobile fast lane and nowhere more so than in the bedroom. When given the choice of being celibate for a month rather than giving up their mobile phone, almost a quarter of women said they would - compared to zero men.

Dial-a-Phone relationship expert Filc Everett comments: "For women, a month without sex would certainly be a punishment - but for some this outweighs the nightmare inconvenience of never having a mobile phone. However, if this was a decision for life - I'd predict that women would choose sex every time."

However, according to the online survey, both men and women are more than happy to bring the mobile into the bedroom - with 30% of men and 42.5% of women claiming they'd answer the phone during sex!

Flic Comments: "There's a time and a place for mobile phones! Turning them off occasionally or even switching them to silent will make your loved-one feel as though they have your attention. Never ever answer your phone during sex. People will leave a message or call back later if it's urgent." Many are using their mobile to take saucy snaps much too rude to get developed at the chemist. 4 in 5 have taken a personal pic of their partner on their mobile. Flic says: "Sending a flirty text or better still a sexy picture message in the middle of the day will surprise and delight your partner, they will begin to anticipate a night of passion ahead, it's a great way to keep a flagging sex life alive."

Singletons consider their mobile phone their most valuable dating weapon - arranging dates and getting to know prospective partners through SMSes to relay the success of the date during the event to their mates.

BEDROOM INVASION

IN LOVE WITH THE GADGET

- 30% of men and a staggering 42.5% of women would consider answering their phone during sex

- 24% of women would rather give up sex than their mobile phone for a month

- 4 in 5 people have used their picture phones to take intimate pictures of their partners

- Brits send on average of 12 texts before they go on a first date

- 11% of under 34s have been dumped by SMS

'Hear out my side too!'

The issues of generation gap and the susequent handling of a teenager has always created problems in almost every household. We find out if there is a way out or does the argument have to continue?

The relationship between parents and their teenage children has been one where clashes and differences in opinion are commonplace since time immemorial. The generation gap makes it difficult for both sides to appreciate each others' point of view.

Adolescence, the transitional period between youth and maturity, is the time when trouble starts brewing in the parent-kid relationship. Throughout life, many developmental changes take place. Parents need to adapt themselves to the situation. An adolescent goes through changes that are physical, emotional as well as social. They are trying to crave an identity for themselves.

Reena Jones, who is the mother of two teenage daughters says that she definitely feels the generation gap between her elder daughter, and herself. " />Adolescence, the transitional period between youth and maturity, is the time when trouble starts brewing in the parent-kid relationship. Throughout life, many developmental changes take place. Parents need to adapt themselves to the situation. An adolescent goes through changes that are physical, emotional as well as social. They are trying to crave an identity for themselves.

Reena Jones, who is the mother of two teenage daughters says that she definitely feels the generation gap between her elder daughter, and herself. "Today's kids, want to move very fast. Freedom is the main issue of discussion between my elder daughter and me. She wants to go out every evening and have male friends. It's just not acceptable to me. I suggested that she meet a counsellor, but she does not want to do that either."

Amanda, who is 19 years old, says that clashes in opinion happen very regularly between them and that irks her. "Nowadays she even has problems with my going out with boys. I have been in co-educational institutions all along. Going out with friends is important for me. She doesn't even try to see things from my point of view."

Another parent, Wendy Scott, who has an 18-year-old daughter, says that at times, making her understand things is a difficult task. "It was difficult to explain to Lisa, my daughter, that she should not start doing summer jobs or work at call centres like her friends. We explained to her that this is the time for her to relax and spend her free time studying rather than to start working right away. But nothing seems to help."

How parents tackle their adolescent children thus become important here.

Parents shouldn't be too pushy. They should give their children more space but at the same time should be involved in their activities.

But it's not just the parents who need to understand their children. Teenagers too have to put a step forward. They need to empathise with parents. They should be more objective and not have a negative bias towards their parents. An open communication between the two is the key to resolving all issues.

The familiar ego clashes and the verbal skirmishes will continue to spice up a parent and teenager relationship generation after generation. But perhaps if a little window of communication were opened in that dark room of egos, the light of understanding strengthen one of the most beautiful and caring relationships in the world.

Can men handle a break-up?

Nick, a 25-year-old marketing executive broke off with his girlfriend. Since he wanted to handle the break-up on his own, he stopped meeting his friends because he did not want any sympathy from them. But it was only a matter of time that he became frustrated and started losing his cool on practically anything and everything.

Moving on is difficult for many, but since women can talk more openly about their sorrow and find no harm in crying about their pain, they are able to handle this sort of stress better, unlike men."

How should you cope with break-up stress:

- Accept that you are not at ease with the break-up

- Identify the core beliefs that are upsetting you and replace them with positive ones and seek help.

- Cry if you feel the need to do so. Don't suppress your feelings.

Premature ejaculation? Spray comes to rescue

Here's some good news for men suffering from one of the most common sexual disorders - premature ejaculation. An anesthetic spray more than doubles the "lasting" time for the 'patients', according to a study by the company that makes the experimental drug.

The metered-dose of the aerosol spray is a mixture of the anesthetics lidocaine and prilocaine, and is spritzed onto the tip of the penis 15 minutes before sex. Before using the spray, the 54 heterosexual men in the study ejaculated, on average, one minute after vaginal penetration. In the test, on four occasions, half the men used the anesthetic spray 15 minutes before sex, the other half a placebo with no active ingredients.

The men or their partners used a stopwatch to measure the time from vaginal penetration to ejaculation. The results of the study states that lasting time increased to two minutes or more for 55% of the men who got the spray and 35 % of the men who got the placebo. Lasting time increased to three minutes or more for 40 % of the men who got the spray and 13 % of the men who got the placebo.

Lasting time increased to four minutes or more for 20% of the men who got the spray and 13 % of the men who got the placebo.

On average, men who got the spray lasted 2.4 times longer than those who got the placebo. About 70% of men who used the spray and just under 50% of the men who used the placebo said they had longer time to ejaculation.

About 60% of the female partners of men who used the spray, and about 30% of the partners of the men who used the placebo, said the men had better control over their ejaculation.

The spray is called TEMPE - topical eutectic mixture for premature ejaculation - by manufacturer Plethora Solutions Ltd London, which funded the study. It is not yet available on the market.

"TEMPE 'as required' has the potential to offer a convenient, novel treatment option for men with premature ejaculation," conclude researchers Wallace C Dinsmore of Royal Victoria Hospital, Belfast, Northern Ireland, and colleagues.

The spray had few side effects. Four of the 26 men who used TEMPE did report side effects. Three had numbness of the penis, and one reported erectile dysfunctionerectile dysfunction.

Only one of the men's sex partners reported a side effect: a mild burning sensation during intercourse.

Emla, from AstraZeneca, is also a mixture of lidocaine and prilocaine. It comes in a cream formulation and must, be used with a condom. TEMPE does not require condom use.

'Bitchology' helps Russian women snare best men

Manipulating Men: 'Bitch Schools' claim they can arm women with the competitive edge needed to lure a man or bring their partners to heel

With the number of eligible bachelors dwindling in Russia, women in the country are now taking lessons in how to snare the man of their dreams.

It seem increasing number of Russian women are flocking to "bitch schools" that claim that they can arm the ladies with the competitive edge needed to snare a man, or even bring their own partners to heel. Vladimir Rakovsky, a motivational speaker, and his wife, Yevgenia hold classes, which start with lectures in "bitchology", twice a week during the night.

And if there are people who are offended that women are being trained to be 'bitches', well then they need to be aware that in Russia a bitch refers to a woman who is neither strident nor sassy, but demure, manipulative and aware of her own sexuality, and uses all those attributes to get her own way."

Bitchology is the theory, practice and technique of being successful in a man's world. A smart woman gets what she wants by pretending to be weak," The Telegraph quoted Rakovsky, as saying. As for what makes a woman a successful 'bitch', well strength of will, self-confidence and knowing how to use her "feminine wiles" is the key.

"A bitch should be strong and self-confident but should remember to use feminine wiles, such as her attractiveness and, whenever useful, she should try to come across as a helpless creature," he added. After the initial lectures, the women then attend the "school of seduction" in which they learn to use their sexuality to attract the most discerning of men by flaunting their sexuality.

In the final lesson, the women learn the art of the striptease.

And it seems that the classes do indeed work, for the Rakovskys' students swear by the technique which, according to one, gives every Russian woman what she wants namely "Great sex, money and a man who looks after you."

On a high: You can have sex in an aeroplane for $299

If you've ever fantasised about joining the infamous mile high club, fantasy could become reality much faster than you think. An Atlanta-based company called Mile High Atlanta now offers couples the opportunity to travel in to the skies for a romantic getaway - complete with a custom-fit bed, brand new sheets and a complimentary bottle of champagne.

The founder, corporate pilot Bob Smith, says, he and his business partner conceived the idea five years ago as a way to make some extra money on weekends. He has piloted more than 75 flights, with couples from all parts of the country paying $299 an hour for a roll in the sheets at more than 5,000 feet.

Historically, joining the mile high club refers to having intercourse more than a mile off the ground, says Gloria G. Brame, a clinical sex therapist in Atlanta. It's been reported that the founding member of the mile high club is Lawrence Sperry, the inventor of autopilot (who ironically crashed while engaging in sexual activity with a woman while he was flying). Brame says many people find it fun and exciting to have sex in places that are prohibited. "Having sex on airplanes has been around for almost as long as flights have existed," she says.

As for US federal aviation regulations, it's totally legal to join the mile high club. "There is no FAA rule that governs behaviour in the lavatory," says FAA spokesperson Les Door.

But heightened air travel security has limited passengers' freedoms on commercial flights, and many couples find it more difficult to sneak into the bathroom, says Joy Davidson, a New York sex therapist and author of the book Fearless Sex. Davidson says a service like Smith's could certainly add some adventure into a couple's relationship.

Smith agreed, sensing there was a market of people looking for an erotic midair tryst. "I've had all types of customers," he says. "Everyone from old married couples to people having affairs." Whoever it is, Smith says he doesn't ask a lot of questions. "I put the curtain up and put my headset on to drown out any sounds that may occur," Couples use a kitchen timer to keep track of their hour and avoid having the pilot interrupt.

Stacie Jackson, an Atlanta realtor, joined the mile high club on one of Smith's flights on her birthday. My husband found out about the service and surprised me," she says. "We had a good time. It was a great way to celebrate my birthday!" Jackson says, without question, spreading out on a bed beats cramming into a dirty, tiny aircraft bathroom. "It's much more private, hygienic and most of all there is a lot more room," she says. Somewhat surprisingly, Smith says 75% of his customers are women.

"When a guy books this kind of thing, he may be looked at as perverted," he says. "But when a woman does it, men usually think it's a really hot thing to do."

Trust and SEX

This is not about horror stories of going to bed with a guy one night and waking up to find out he was a secret agent or an alien. One night stands and casual sex are more common in the west. But in countries like India, many people still have an underlying cultural need to trust the person they're having sex with to 'mean it' emotionally, whether it's a spouse or just a casual, temporary partner.

Trust issues are important for healthy and satisfying sex, for lasting relationships, and also for sexual health. It's not exactly stimulating, but as sexual independence grows among the youth, safe sex and trust are issues that are increasingly being talked about together.

Trust grows when both people keep their promises and stay true to their commitments. And it doesn't happen telepathically. You need to sit down and discuss these things before you decide to go ahead with it. In fact, you can draw up a set of ground rules you both promise to stick to, rather like a 'contract'.

Freedom to say 'no'

It's important for both partners to recognise that they have the freedom to say 'no' whenever they want. And this is not just for women, but also for men - women need to understand that for them, saying no is a security issue, but for men, it's a comfort issue. He needs to be able to depend on you not to think less of him if doesn't want it because he's to tired or not in the mood.

Too experimental?

Both partners also need to understand that the other might not be equally open to trying out new things. While it's fun and healthy to gently coax your partner into being innovative and daring, you should do so only if your partner is completely comfortable and ok with the idea. At no point must any of you try to force or blackmail your partner into doing something they don't want to.

Healthy and wise

To repeat, sexual health is not conducive to arousal, but it is important for trust. Both of you must agree to take the measures necessary to ensure safe sex, and to never try to talk or force the other person out of it. This also includes seeing other people - if you do so, your partner must know, for reasons, that are both emotional and physical. Unless there is a mutual agreement that you can see other people, it's not worth putting a partner you love at risk.

How to find out if you're ready for a relationship

1) Think about whether you're too young for it. It's not just the age, but whether you're ready to handle the problems and responsibilities of a relationship.

2) Make sure you have time for a relationship. Having a girlfriend/boyfriend means more than just the glamour of having one - it means taking time out to invest in the relationship.

3) Ascertain if you're over your last relationship. Lingering feelings creates problems because then you're always comparing the two partners and relationships.

4) Figure out what you've learnt about yourself from previous relationships. Maybe you don't like a certain type of person but keep falling for exactly that sort. Figure out your priorities.

Learn to love again - recapture that special feeling

On networking sites, girls seek friends; boys flirt

More than half of US teenagers use social networking sites like MySpace, but girls go online to reaffirm existing friendships, while boys are more often there to flirt, a survey has found. The national survey of youth aged 12 to 17 by the Pew Internet & American Life Project shows two-thirds of teens who have created networking profiles limit site access to selected viewers, while 17% use their sites to flirt.

The study shows teenagers are aware of the risks of revealing too much data about themselves and are taking steps to protect their privacy - a concern that has made the sites controversial with parents, school officials and politicians. "These sites are places where you can express yourself not so much to the world, but really to a core group of friends," said Mary Madden, a co-author of the Pew study. "They are a stable place where friends can find you."

Older boys aged 15 to 17 are more likely (60%) than older girls to use networking sites (46%) to make new friends. 29% of older boys use these sites to flirt but only 13% of older girls say they do so. Just 12% of younger girls say they flirt on such sites.

In focus groups Pew conducted among teenagers ahead of the phone survey, girls said they feared the "creepy 40-year-old man coming after them" but no participant reported incidents of adult strangers actually contacting them, Madden said.

Among the gender differences noted in the survey, older girls aged 15 to 17 said they were more likely to have created pro-files on social networking sites, with 70% having done so compared with 57% of boys the same age. The data based, on phone interviews with 935 young people in October and November of 2006, shows that 55% of all US youths with online connections use social networking sites like News Corp.'s MySpace, Facebook or Xanga.

She will fall for you if other women dote on you

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but other people's opinions matter too when it comes to the attraction between men and women, according to researchers. They found women are more attracted to a man if other women like him too.

"We tend to think about things like attraction as reflecting a private decision or a personal choice but our work shows that people's attractiveness judgments can be influenced in pronounced ways by what other people appear to think of those individuals," said psychologist Ben Jones.

Jones, of the University of Aberdeen, and his team tested the impact of the opinions of others by giving women a test in which they had to choose the more attractive of pairs of male faces and to rate how much more handsome they found them.

They were then shown a short video in which the same faces were displayed. But each face was being looked at by a woman smiling or one showing a bored or neutral expression.

After watching the video, the researchers repeated the initial test. "We found that the slideshow caused women to become more attracted to the men who were being smiled at by other women," said Jones.

The test had the opposite effect on men however, possibly because of the competition factor amongst males.

When men were asked to look at the same male faces, those who got the approving female glances became less appealing. "This shows that people are using cues to the attitudes of others towards individuals to shape their own attractiveness judgments of those individuals," Jones said.

The findings, which are reported in the Proceedings of The Royal Society B journal, are similar to mate choice copying seen in other species and are thought to be the first time it has been shown in humans.

Positive female interest in the faces increased the women's preference for the males but it had the opposite effect on male judgments. Jones suggests the positive reaction conveys a sense of approval for women but the negative male reaction could reflect jealousy or competition.

"If I go to a bar with Brad Pitt, for example, chances are I'm not going to get much interest from the women because Pitt will hog all the attention," he said.

Snoring tears into sleep, relationships

Fixes For The Affliction Range From Surgery To Earplugs

Snoring has a simple definition: During sleep, the muscles of the tongue and throat relax, narrowing the airway, and the vibration of air through this constricted passage creates hoarse or harsh sounds.

Much more complicated in the effect snoring has on relationships, and how to cure it. Snoring is a "big relationship divider," said Laura Berman, a relationship and sex therapist in Chicago. She said snoring creates frustation and resentment on both sides: the snorers, who can't help it, and those suffering next to them.

Complications include "low energy from not getting enough revitalising sleep, making you grumpy, less communicative and with less sexual energy," he said.

Beyond a regular nudge in the ribs to make the snorer roll over and stop snoring, potential remedies can include anything from earplugs for the sleep-deprived to surgery for the snorer.

Nearly half of the adults snore occasionally, and a quarter are habitual snorers, according to the American Academy of Otolaryngology, whose physician members specialise in ear, nose and throat care. Snoring increases with age and weight, and happens most often when the guilty party is asleep on his or her back.

Pat and David Auerbach of Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, have been married more than 20 years, about half of them sleeping in separate bedrooms. Although they have made peace with separate bedrooms at home, "it makes it very difficult to go on vacation," Pat said.

"Keep in the same bedroom at all costs, and if not, take time to cuddle and interact before going to separate rooms," says University of Minnesota social science professor Paul Rosenblatt, author of Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing.

Surgery can fix snoring caused by a deviated septum, a crooked partition between the nostrils, and widen the throat passage by trimming away loose skin. Sometimes, removing the tonsils is enough to quiet a noisy sleeper.

A device similar to a dental night guard, with clips that help "stretch the muscles of the neck" to prevent tissue from vibrating can be of help. Another option is the Controlled Positive Airway Pressure device, which delivers air through a specially designed mask; the airflow creates enough pressure to keep the airway open and reduce loud vibrations. The mask is not exactly romantic, but then neither is losing sleep over a partner's snoring.

When opposites attract, it's just genes at work

Women Genetically Pre-Programmed To Seek Men Different From Themselves

It is an age old adage that opposites attract - now scientists believe they have found out why this is the case. A study has shown women are genetically pre-programmed to seek out men who are different to themselves.

It is thought that seeking out a mate with different genes - and therefore a different immune system - ensures any children the couple will have the broadest possible protection against disease. If the genes are very similar, a woman is more likely to be sexually dissatisfied with her partner, have a roving eye - and even an affair.

The research published, in this week's NewScientist Magazine could even lead to the creation of a DNA test which would show how likely a woman is to remain faithful.

In the study, US scientists analysed the major 'histocompatibility complex' genes - those which are key to the immune system - of 48 couples who had been together for at least two years.

The men and women were then asked a series of questions about their relationship, including whether they had been unfaithful and how sexually attracted they were to their partner, scientists found a key link between genes and fidelity.

The more similar a woman's immune system genes were to those of her partner, the less sexually attracted she was to him and the more likely she was to cheat. And the risk of infidelity was greatest on the days when a woman was most fertile, the University of New Mexico researchers found.

However, when there were great differences in the genes investigated, women were much likely to be faithful. Analysis of the results revealed that the percentage of shared genes directly correlated to a woman's fidelity. For instance, if a man and woman had half of their MHC genes in common, there was a 50% chance that the woman would cheat with another man.

Male fidelity, however, did not seem to vary with genetics. The MHC is vital in controlling the way the immune system recognises invading bugs and clues to the make-up of a person's MHC are revealed in sweat.

Previous studies have shown that the more different someone's sweat is to yours, the more pleasant you find them - and their sweat. It is thought the phenomenon evolved to prevent us unintentionally mating with relatives - or people genetically similar to us. It also ensures that children produced have the greatest possible chance of fighting off disease.

Pick & choose: Women go by the looks

They Pick Men With Masculine Features For Flings But Will Go For Feminine Traits In Husband

Evolutionary sense plays a great role when a women chooses her mate. Men with masculine features would find mention in her dates, but a woman would look for feminine traits in her husband.

Women seem to judge potential mates by how masculine their features are, new research shows. Men with square jaws and well-defined brow ridges are seen as good short-term partners, while those with more feminine traits such as a rounder face and fuller lips are perceived as better long-term mates, reports LiveScience.

This might explain our fascination with Brad Pitt's chiseled jaw and George Clooney's smoldering eyes.

In the study, 854 male and female subjects viewed a series of male head shots that had been digitally altered to exaggerate or minimize masculine traits.

The participants then answered questions about how they expected the men in the photos to behave.

Overwhelmingly, participants said those with more masculine features were likely to be risky and competitive and also more apt to fight, challenge bosses, cheat on spouses and put less effort into parenting. Those with more feminine faces were seen as good parents and husbands, hard workers and emotionally supportive mates.

Despite all the negative attributes, when asked who they would choose for a short-term relationship, women still selected the more masculine looking men. Brad and George then would be picks for a brief romance, if not the long haul. The study, detailed in the December issue of the journal Personal Relationships, reached conclusions similar to research published earlier last year in Britain.

The new study's author, Daniel Kruger at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, said that from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense women would view more masculine-looking men as potential flings and less masculine-looking ones as long-term partners. The key, he said, is testosterone, the hormone responsible for development of masculine facial features and other secondary sexual characteristics.

Testosterone is necessary for development, but can also have detrimental health effects. It has been shown, for example, to interfere with the body's immune response, so men who are able to maintain high levels of the hormone are typically strong and healthy-traits women would want to pass on to their progeny.

Increased testosterone has also been linked to male cheating and violence in relationships, so while these men might produce high quality offspring, they don't always make great parents or faithful mates, Kruger says. The study suggests women could be equipped to use seemingly superficial characteristics "as a cue to pick up on trends in these behavioural strategies," Kruger said.

There are plenty of these signals in the animal world. Male peacocks huge, outrageous tails can make foraging for food and evading predators difficult, but the plumage, which many researchers say indicates male fitness, is so effective at luring females that the trait has been preserved in the population, Kruger points out.

While the findings are compelling, the scientific community has typically greeted the field of physiognomy, which links facial characteristics to certain behavioural traits, with skepticism.

Kruger argues, however, that the research is a valuable tool for understanding mating strategies.

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Ex-Flame, Current Friend

Is it possible to become good friends with past lovers, but one needs to proceed with caution

It certainly is, but there a things that one must consider before trying to be friends.

-- You must be mature enough to handle the pressures of the new equation with your ex-partner.

-- If you are an assertive or aggressive person, then being friends with your ex will not help.

-- Remember the fact that he/she is not your lover anymore.

-- Keep your expectations low and do not take the person for granted, the way you did earlier.

-- Don't think about your break up. You both may have failed to top the compatibility test but you can be friends with each other.

-- Give adequate time and space to the person and to yourself before you think of rebuilding your relationship.

-- If you want a successful relationship the second time, make sure you don't draw comparisons between the two relationships.

-- If you find it hard to see your ex with someone else, it's better to stay away from each other.

-- Do not force your friendship on him/her. It has to be a mutual decision.

How To Get Your Ex Back!

Find out how you can turn the tables on your break up and have your ex start chasing after you and begging for your return! Everyone has the power and ability to end their own heartbreak. Find out how to get your love back. Click here for more details...

Patch-Up Time? Get Together With Your EX

If one of your New Year resolutions is to get back with your old flame, read on...

Getting back together with an ex might be a relief at first, ending weeks of misery where you missed each other and wondered why on earth you split up in the first place.

But what usually begins as a heady romantic reunion, full of promises to never leave each other's side, can rapidly deteriorate into arguments and sulking as you discover that not only are the old problems still there, but you've found new reasons to fight too. Before you jump back on the cosy sofa of your old relationship, it's essential to look in minute detail at your reasons for going back, otherwise you may find you're carrying baggage from the past into the next phase.

Ask yourself if could it be that neither of you can be bothered to get back out into the dating world making getting back together the easy - and lazy - option? If you haven't met anyone yourself while you've been apart, what you're feeling could be plain old jealousy rather than the realisation that it was true love.

Also remember that when a relationship ends, for whatever reason, it's tempting to look back on the good times with rose tinted specs as the anger and frustations fade. But if things had been going well surely you would still be together and would have worked at any issues that came up? If the relationship stalled and problems couldn't be solved, do you realistically believe that you're both going to find the impetus to make it work a second time around?

How To Get Your Ex Back!

Find out how you can turn the tables on your break up and have your ex start chasing after you and begging for your return! Everyone has the power and ability to end their own heartbreak. Find out how to get your love back. Click here for more details...

The Secret Weapon To Make The Impossible Possible!

Has anyone ever told you that relationship is the biggest lesson you can get in life??

A year ago exactly on the month of August, my life and relationship took a turn for the worse, and I was plunged into the "pitch black darkness", depressed and sorrowful, not knowing what to do with my life, not knowing where to find help or look for the answers - the lowest point of my life. I'm sure any humans experience this life stage at sometime during the full stages of their lives.

It was during this time that I met a mentor of my life, who was a best selling author.

To cut a long story short, my life changed after I took her courses and studied her books. I wrote to Cucan and almost 'beg' her to take me under her wings. I was determined to learn all I could from her. During that time, I only had this gut feeling that I could find the answer I'm seeking, sooner or later.

There were some conditions which I had to agree to, before she nodded her head. You see, Cucan was a super 'busy' woman, busy in the sense that she had a very strict schedule which she gave herself.

She was no longer offering any private consultations or private courses; because doing so would rob her of the time she needed for the more crucial stuffs such as learning, studying, and her all time favorite - writing and research.

She knew exactly how much time and energy she could devote to her work and her readers; and how much to give to other issues - meeting up with associates, attending to the needs of her family, most importantly, giving time to herself.

Balance, in her opinion, is everything.

There would be no private lessons, not even a homework, those were the conditions she set for me. However, being quite internet-savvy, she allow me to work alongside with her on some of the projects she was engaging in. Ironically, she told me that she had nothing to give me, that all that I need was right here, close to myself.

I couldn't believe what she said. Then, what could I learn from her if there were no lesson, no tutorials, no learning materials?

Not even a note? I began to get very doubtful.

She insisted there would be none, and that I should have no expectations of what I would be receiving; in fact, all that I had to do was to assist her in some of her research works while maintaining some of the sites she was running. One day, she told me, I would 'know'.

I didn't want to give up at this point, and promised her that I would work hard and learn all that I can, without questions.

So, did I learn anything at all?

You bet!

She kept her words. She didn't teach me anything. :) She simply had no time.

All I had was her book, one system, and a private site where I could access all the learning materials I need. No more, no less.

Yet, my journey was nothing short of miraculous, and fun!

She taught me the most important secret to life; a secret soprevious that I would never have learned it from any books; not even hers, not even from any other so-called 'gurus'!

And I'm about to share with you this secret!

The secret to life, to success is....
...
...
...

Simply take anyone whom you deem know the secret to life, and who are themselves very successful, and DO WHAT THEY DO!

Don't read about them.

Don't read about what they teach you to do.

Do what they do.

Learn what they learn.

Even take up the courses they had taken.

In short, breathe what they breathe!

Simple? Cucan had prophesized that one day I'll know. She was right. I do.

Take a look at my results!

Within days of receiving Cucan's system and book, I cleared all my debts, as if by magic!
My lover, who had been distancing herself from me, suddenly called me from her office and wanted to talk to me! Wow! (And now, here's the secret. By the time she called me up, I knew exactly what I should do, and not do!)

Within 3 months, I had built my own successful online business, quited my day job, and found myself able to get an expensive diamond my girlfriend was wanting for a long, longtime.

Within 7 months, I manifested my own car, and now enjoy the luxury of being able to drive my love around during our dates!

They say that if you want to be successful and if you want to achieve your goal faster, quicker, with less hassle, and without all the headaches, and heartaches... grab those people who "have been there, done that", and make them spill their beans...

And to get hold of such a person is difficult, not to mention to get hold of one person who can teach and transfer what they know to others.

I consider myself as lucky to have found Cucan.

She may not have the big names of those hard-to-get 'gurus' out there... but her methods work for me! And that's all that I care about!

I wanted a system which is easy to understand and easy to apply.

I got what I had wanted when I discovered Cucan Pemo. Her resources and teachings result in giving me all that I want, and much much more!

She was my secret weapon, in life and in relationships... if there is anything I didn't understand... I would just hop over to the private vault I was given access to as a private member. Usually, within a few clicks and a few searches, I would have found the answers I'm seeking.

So, if you are looking for more love, power, and freedom in your life and relationships, Cucan Pemo is the REAL deal!
Period!

So, I urge you to visit her website once and see yourself.... what difference she can make to your love life and relationships.

Sex life is worst during the festive season: Survey

Most couples will be too drunk or full from over-eating to make love over the festive period, according to a major survey. Nearly 59% men and women in the poll conducted by sex shop chain Ann Summers said they were less likely to have sex at this time of year because they would have consumed too much food or drink.

Also, couples were less likely to get intimate because of stress, rows or fatigue. 70% men said the amount of sex they had over December dropped to an annual low, while 90% of women said their sexual appetite plunged throughout the holidays due to the stress of buying and wrapping presents.