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We're going on Vacation

That's right, we're closing up shop for a few weeks of much-needed R&R.; That means you are not going to see a new t-shirt this week, next week, or the week after. If you don't think you can miss your 52tease fix for that long, might we recommend you visit Uneetee.com? They offer a new t-shirt design on sale every day. Trust me, we wouldn't recommend a direct competitor unless their stuff were truly eye-popping (and they have an affiliate program). We just picked up a beauty of a shirt from them last week.

If shopping Zen isn't your thing, then perhaps the teachings of Sathya Sai Baba will lighten your day.

"At the age of 14, Sathya Sai Baba declared to his parents that he had come to this world with a mission to re-establish the principle of Righteousness, to motivate love for God and service to fellow man. Since then, he has consistently called on all mankind to Love All, Serve All and has repeatedly asserted that the essence of all scriptures is Help Ever, Hurt Never! Through his speeches and writings, Sathya Sai Baba has offered a veritable ocean of knowledge and guidance on all aspects of spiritual, religious, and value-oriented living. He has often repeated that it is not necessary to drink the whole ocean to know its taste, that it is not necessary to read all scriptures to live a life of joy, peace, and love. It is enough to put into practice one aspect of spiritual teaching. A few drops of the ocean of Sathya Sai Baba's teachings, an attempt to encapsulate its essence, follows. Sathya Sai Baba urges mankind to:

• Believe in God --for there is only ONE GOD for all mankind, though He may be called by many names.

• Follow sincerely their respective religions and live their daily lives in consonance with the teachings of good behavior and morality.

• Respect all other religions --for no religion advocates the negative and lower qualities of man.

• Perform selfless service to the poor, the sick, and the needy without thought of reward or fame.

• Cultivate in their lives the values of truth, divine love, right conduct, peace, and nonviolence and promote these values among all.

• Be patriotic and respect the laws of the country in which they..."

Yes, it just ends like that. He must have dozed off while dictating the website. We're not going to be dozing, though. See you in September with newly invigorated t-shirt antics!

WTF? This Just Arrived in our Inbox

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR / MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT
MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH
FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS
TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT
REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN
ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY
PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY
FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE
UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT
OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING
ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A
FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL
REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED
U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF
SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST,
THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN
THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN
BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS.

BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE
REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE
PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS
COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER.

UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF
THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION
TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE
INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE
OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE
URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS
BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND
FORMER HEAD OF THE ALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE
PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A
CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT
(10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT
VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL
FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER
BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND
WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A
BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED
THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE
IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER
DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE
FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS
BELOW.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
GEORGE WALKER BUSH

Postmodern Tshirt

We asked our scientificologists what it would take to make the ultimate postmodern shirt. A t-shirt that would lash out against the modernism and all the celebration of the human spirit that the era entailed.

After a little head-scratching and some quick tabulation, our crack team realized that the best way to create a post-modern tee shirt would be to imbue a t-shirt with a sense of self.

Much like that which separates humans from most other animals (notice that we said "most"), an awareness of yourself is usually all that is necessary in creating a cynical, individualistic object that is able to question the nature of knowledge.

When you wear the postmodern tshirt, are you really wearing a t-shirt or has it become something more than through it's self-referential nature?

Of course, most of us at The Outpost aren't smart enough to fully understand our scientificologists response to our question, but that's not going to stop us from putting it on a t-shirt.

Couldn't this be, we wonder, a post-modern response to the surrealistic and poignant work of René Magritte? Whereas Magrittes' Ceci n'est pas works point out that "that no matter how closely, through realism-art, we come to depicting an item accurately, we never do catch the item itself, per se, as a Kantian noumenon, but capture only an image on the canvas," this t-shirt is, in fact, the object which it represents, sending the truly pensive viewer in an unceasing spiral of refracted thought.

The shirt itself becomes both an ironic work of art as well as a snide answer to the multitude of ironic shirts that are in vogue among the hipsters and popularity-challenged fashion obsessed.

(BTW, if you're not familiar with the term "Hipster", this short introduction from Wikipedia should suffice: "A hipster is an individual who avoids and often explicitly rejects whatever is seen as mainstream or corporate in nature, instead embracing alternative forms of expression. Often, these alternative forms quickly become mainstream or corporate themselves, thus creating an arms race between the genuinely trendy and the 'played out.' Indeed, even the label 'hipster' is no longer desirable, and it is rarely used for self-identification, except in an ironic or self-deprecating way.")

In respecting this ironic anti-irony, we have also intentionally placed this text, "postmodern tshirt", on some mugs and apparel items that are certainly not t-shirts. Take that Magritte!

Of course, this is just what we understand this week's sale design to mean. For all we know, the scientificologists have just pulled the wool over our eyes again and gotten away with another easy pay check.

Thriller (The Phillipino Inmate Version)

After dwelling on death and destruction yesterday (fortunately, they've recently downgraded the death toll from possibly thirty to closer to ten), we figure it's a good idea to liven our audience with some good afterlife living.

This video is a recreation of Michael Jackson's Thriller as performed by over 1,500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, located in the Philippines. And yes, the "girl" in this video is played by a man. Do you think they would really drop a girl into the center of 1,500 inmates and expect her to come out unscathed?

Not enough Thriller action for you? Check out this previously popular video of an entire wedding party getting freaky (and funky) or this hilarious Indian (as in India) version of Thriller.

If you've actually taken the time to watch all three of these videos, it's very likely that you're ready to learn how to do the Thriller dance yourself. Consider this online Thriller instructional video and send us your own homemade Thriller video.

Bridge Collapse Center of Attention

Although Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan both came close when they had their recent brush with the law, we haven't seen any single news event take over the picture box of Yahoo News' popular page since Knut the Polar Bear.

Unlike the celebration of "cuteness" that is Knut, this attention is derived from calamity.

The I-35W Mississippi River bridge shares the same mile of the Mississippi as two of Minneapolis' other spectacular catastrophes: the explosion of the Washburn "A" Mill in 1878 and the collapse of the tunnel under Hennepin Island in 1869, which nearly destroyed St. Anthony Falls.

The I-35W bridge was notable for not having any piers in the water. Instead, the main support piers were located on the banks of the river, and were built of tubular-shaped concrete pillars. The main bridge deck was supported by a single 458 foot long steel arch over a 390 foot wide navigation channel. Two sets of locks and dams just upriver of the bridge were constructed a few years earlier to allow passage past Saint Anthony Falls. The bridge was one of the widest bridges in the Twin Cities area and provided an important link for Interstate 35W traffic.

On Wednesday, August 1, 2007, the bridge failed catastrophically at 6:05 p.m. CDT (2305 GMT) during the evening rush hour, causing 50 or more vehicles, their occupants, and several construction workers to fall into the river or to its banks. Several vehicles caught fire among the debris, including a semi-truck, forcing fire crews to route hoses from several blocks away in an attempt to put out the flames. In addition, a portion of the bridge fell onto a freight train parked beneath the structure. No one was on the train and the line carries no passenger trains.

Road construction on the bridge had been ongoing for several weeks prior to the collapse. Shortly before the incident, the Minnesota Department of Transportation announced that it would reduce the bridge to one lane in each direction during the late evenings of July 31 and August 1.

Over 60 people were reported injured in the collapse, many of them severely, and initial reports indicated at least nine deaths, although that number has officially been reduced to four confirmed. Drivers were stranded on parts of the collapsed bridge that were not submerged. 60 children, aged four to 14, were riding a school bus that was on the bridge at the time of the collapse, returning from a field trip. The bus made it most of the way across the bridge before the roadway collapsed underneath the vehicle. Reports indicate that all passengers on the bus escaped safely.

At this time, the cause of the collapse remains unknown. A 2001 Mn/DOT report indicated weakness at the joints of the steel that held the concrete deck above the river, due to "unanticipated out of plane distortion" of the steel girders. The report also noted a concern about lack of redundancy in the main truss system. Being a non-redundant structure, the bridge had a greater risk of collapse in the event of any single structural failure. In 2005, the bridge had been characterized as "structurally deficient" and in possible need of replacement. This was reportedly reflected by its rating in the US Department of Transportation's National Bridge Inventory database.

BTW -- If you have yet to use Wikipedia for breaking news coverage, you are denying yourself an amazingly helpful resource in making heads or tales of conflicting news reports.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

Awwwwww wee one, it's going to be alright. The 52tease.com/Cafepress buy 3 t-shirts get 1 free promotion had to end sometime.

We're going to have another sale sometime soon. We promise.

Really.

Can you stop making that face now? It's making us really sad.

Please.

Seriously. You look like you're about to cry.

Don't be that way.

We always have our awesome grab and go coupons. You can still save $5 or $10 off your order. That's not bad, right?

Come on little tike. Buck up. Remember what they say: It's always darkest before the dawn.

Why There's No Soda Vending Machine at The Outpost

Water for Life USA (who obviously, has a stake in turning you off soda and onto alternatives like...I don't know--water!?) brings to light a couple of ways that the soda you drink is literally eating you from the inside out:

1. pH of Soda = pH of Vinegar
2. Drink Soda, Leach Calcium
3. Soda Will Dissolve your Tooth Enamel
4. Each Additional Soda Increases Risk for Obesity by 1.6 times
5. Children Who Drink Soda Break Bones More Easily
6. Diet Soda Isn’t Any Better
7. Caffeine Could Jeopardize the Human Race
8. Watch Out for a Asthma and a Rash

You Enter My Heart And Never Leave

Generally we make two different kinds of love t-shirts at 52tease, those that are interested in the power of love to heal all wounds and those that help you meet that someone special (pick-up shirts).

Although our design team has been pumping out shirts for our new PG13+ line of clothing over the past few weeks, they actually decided to create something for those long-term lovers of love (and not the guy or gal looking for the one-night lovefest). Well, to be totally honest, we kind of had to lean on the design folks pretty hard to put out a design that is not geared to the average (and by that, we mean below average, of course) college student.

I'm pretty sure that the design crew was trying to get the upper management upset when they proposed our newest design, an anatomically correct heart placed anatomically incorrectly over one's left breast (instead of closer to the center of the chest).

The big kids, though, weren't going to fall for their bating tactics...and actually thought the anatomically correct heart, showing the correct flow of blood into the vena cava (both superior and inferior), and none leaving the ventricles for the body, was a pretty cute design that needed to see the light of day. Instead of labeling the intake arrows "blood" the idea people wittily inserted script writing with the word "you".

The insinuation is, of course, that you fill up my heart and, once you enter, you never leave. Of course, our scientificologists don't expect everyone to get that right off the bat, so they were sure to include the post-text (on the bottom): "You enter my heart and never leave" as their little touch.

These t-shirts and other items are sure to be an awesome gift for that special someone in your life. Imagine their joy and awe when they see their very own anatomically correct heart printed over the breast of their new t-shirt.

From a marketing standpoint, we'd really like it if you got a matching set for yourself and your sweety. That way you can be the cutest couple on your block (by far).

Speaking of which, why don't more couples wear matching clothes? Not only would it make it clear to that ogling onlooker in the bar that you're an exclusive item, it could also make it easier for you to find each other in a department store (well, matching clothes and two cell phones with a family plan or "walky talky" function ought to do the trick).

Maybe in our next business venture we will deal exclusively with matching clothes for couples and families (Chas Tenenbaum -Ben Stiller) had the right idea in The Royal Tennenbaums)...but I wouldn't go holding your breath or anything.

Let the Intersphere Choose Your Presidential Candidate

Is the Presidential primary field already too muddled for you? Can't watch the soundbites candidates are putting out on Youtube (unless they're Republican candidates, of course)?

Why not let the Intersphere decide the ideal candidate for you?

Using the publicly available information from 2decide.com (an awesome resource in its own right), Matt Waterman has put together an excellent tool that allows you to input your opinion on twenty five "hot topic" issues, as well as how important that issue is to you, and outputs your alignment with all the current candidates for the position of "The Commander Guy". (click the picture to check it out)

Not surprisingly, we find ourselves mostly aligned with Kucinich (69 points, only disagreeing on "No Child Left Behind") and Gravel (58 points with no disagreements---gotta love that Gravel).

The real shocker came, though, when we discovered that the front runners are truly neck in neck for us as well. While Obama scored 38 points, Edwards and Clinton were both tied with 37 points.

Unfortunately, the Intersphere can't do all your heavy lifting for you. Once you get your score, it's up to you to weight the pros and cons of each of the issues with which you find yourself in disagreement with the candidates.

As a quick aside, apparently Duncan Hunter is the devil himself with minus 71 points.

Why We Will Never Recommend Dreamhost

We just wonder what this exchange would look like if we browsed our own websites more than once a week. Any recommendations for better hosts who also allow a ton of domain names for one hosting account?

Buy Any 3 52tease or Cafepress T-shirts & Get 1 Free

Don't forget, you can take advantage of this buy three t-shirts, get one free promotion* with products produced solely by 52tease.com t-shirts or by combining purchases with any other Cafepress store:

*Buy 3 Shirts Get 1 Free Promotion Rules (Yes, it's the fine print)

Limited to one free shirt per order, free shirt must be of equal or lesser value as purchased shirts and cannot exceed a retail price of USD $30.00. Promotion cannot be combined with any other offers or bulk order discounts. Shirt sales subject to this promotion are not eligible for refunds, exchange only. Eligible free shirts are limited to Jr. Raglan, Custom Jr. Raglan, Jr. Ringer T-Shirt, Custom Jr. Ringer T-Shirt, Jr. Spaghetti Tank, Custom Jr. Spaghetti Tank, Jr. Jersey T-Shirt, Custom Jr. Jersey T-Shirt, Baseball Jersey, Custom Baseball Jersey, T-Shirt, Custom T-Shirt, Kids Baseball Jersey, Kids Custom Baseball Jersey, Ringer T-Shirt, Custom Ringer T-Shirt, Men's Sleeveless Tee, Custom Men's Sleeveless Tee, Long Sleeve T-Shirt, Custom Long Sleeve T-Shirt, Fitted T-Shirt, Custom Fitted T-Shirt, Organic Cotton Tee, Custom Organic Cotton Tee, Value T-Shirt, Custom Value T-Shirt, Women's Cap Sleeve T-Shirt, Women's Custom Cap Sleeve T, Women's Long Sleeve T-Shirt, Women's Custom Long Sleeve T-Shirt, Women's Tank Top, Custom Women's Tank Top, Womens T-Shirt, Women's V-Neck T-Shirt, Women's Plus Size Scoop Neck T-Shirt, Women's Plus Size V-Neck T-Shirt, and Maternity T-Shirt, subject to availability. This promotion is available for a limited time and may be cancelled or changed at any time for any reason, without notice. Void where prohibited.

How Walkable is Your Neighborhood?

We intentionally base The Outpost in an area that is both accessible to the 52tease.com team via many modes of transportation and provides walking access to many different amenities within walking distance. Trust me, this leads to a much happier crew than should we be situated off of some highway anywhere.

We've just discovered that The Outpost has a "walk score" of over 83 (out of 100). What is a "walk score" you ask?

Well, all you have to do is input your address into the Walkscore.com interface and they use Google Maps information to establish your "walk score" based on the following factors:

Walkable communities tend to have the following characteristics:

• A center: Walkable neighborhoods have a discernable center, whether it's a shopping district, a main street, or a public space.
• Density: The neighborhood is compact, rather than spread out, which brings people closer to stores and jobs and makes public transportation more cost effective.
• Mixed income, mixed use: Housing is provided for everyone who works in the neighborhood: young and old, singles and families, rich and poor. Businesses and residences are located near each other.
• Parks and public space: There are plenty of public places to gather and play.
• Accessibility: The neighborhood is accessible to everyone and has wheelchair access, plenty of benches with shade, sidewalks on all streets, etc.
• Well connected, speed controlled streets: Streets form a connected grid that improves traffic by providing many routes to any destination. Streets are narrow to control speed, and shaded by trees to protect pedestrians.
• Pedestrian-centric design: Buildings are placed close to the street to cater to foot traffic, with parking lots relegated to the back.
• Close schools and workplaces: Schools and workplaces are close enough that most residents can walk from their homes.

Of course, there are a few issues with their uber-tech methods:

We'll be the first to admit that Walk Score is just an approximation of walkability. There are a number of factors that contribute to walkability that are not part of our algorithm:

• Street width: Narrow streets are better for walking because they slow traffic.
• Block length: Short blocks make it easier to navigate the grid.
• Freeways: Freeways can divide neighborhoods and hurt walkability.
• Public transit: Good public transit is important for walkable neighborhoods.
• Safety: How much crime is in the neighborhood? How many traffic accidents are there? Are crosswalks well marked and streets well lit?
• Aesthetics: Are the sidewalks shaded by trees? Are there appealing parks and public spaces?
• Pedestrian-friendly design: Are buildings close to the sidewalk with parking in back? If buildings have large parking lots in front, they are less inviting to pedestrians.

As MarlonBain said, "You should use the Web 3.0 app called going outside and investigating the world for yourself" before deciding whether a neighborhood is walkable!

Although we don't recommend sharing any personally identifiable information, post your Walkscore.com rating in the comments. Who knows? Maybe the person with the highest, or lowest, verifiable walkscore will get a free shirt?

Interfacing Without a Keyboard or Mouse Buttons

Dontclick.it is an interesting experiment in "click-free navigation". Not only does this experimental (literally, it is an experiment created and maintained by Alex Frank, a German Communication Design student) site offer varying ways of interacting with a website, including polls, forums and feedback, it also keeps track of how many times you couldn't resist the urge to click a button. In fact, you can see the recorded motions and actions of at least the twenty people who visited the site prior to you.

The image to the right is a fun concept to keep those itchy fingers away from the mouse buttons. Of course, we have to admit that we only love the "Mouse Wrap" because it's so punny.

Although you have to click the image or the above link to get to the website (and click once to enter the flash experience), give your tired pointer and middle finger a rest and head on over to check it out.

Opium Den or College Dorm Room? Original Prints & Gifts

Apparently, along with the recent introduction of a PG13+ area of the store (parental advisory recommended), our crack team of t-shirt designers and scientificologists have had an interest in bulking it up with drug references and sex-related designs; even though we have tried to convince them otherwise.

Unfortunately, this means that those people who chose to sign up for our new Family Friendly(ish) 52tease.com Weekly T-shirt Sale updates probably think we’ve fallen off the edge of the Earth (to them it looks like we put out our most recent new shirt design on June 25th).

Have no fear, though, as that only happened to the Vikings and those draconian corporate imperatives we mentioned last week.

Those of you who subscribe to our standard weekly t-shirt sale feed should be getting this loud and clear.
You know who else often has a lot of trouble keeping in touch? College students...especially first-year students. For some reason, they've got no problem cutting off all communication with the people who are (probably) paying for their education and with whom they've (more than likely) cohabitated for about eighteen years.

Of course, they're always pretty quick to get in touch when they could use a few bucks, right?

What are those college kids doing with all their time, anyway?

Well, the inquisitive parent is in luck, because we sent our scientificologists around the country to find out what our nation's young men do when they get to college instead of studying. You have to see the photographic evidence to believe it.

Our scientificologists, through extensive surveys, interviews and undercover work discovered that college freshmen live a life very similar to that found in a 1920's opium den. Comparing images from the two eras, it is almost impossible to tell the difference between the men in the opium den and a couple of college freshmen smoking marijuana in their dorm rooms isn't it?

Purchase this unique 52tease.com original poster on sale now for any stoner's dorm room this fall. Choose from either:
mom & dad - College is Awesome! Please send money. ~Justin
OR
mom & dad - Learning a lot at college. Thinking about joining a frat. Send money. ~Mike

How Corrupt Can the Bushies Be?

Yes. That's a rhetorical question. If you're looking for empirical proof, look no farther than Think Progress' latest roundup of their illegal politicization of many federal agencies:

Office of Faith Based Initiatives: The office was “used almost exclusively to win political points with both evangelical Christians and traditionally Democratic minorities. The office’s primary mission, providing financial support to charities that serve the poor, never got the presidential support it needed to succeed.” [MSNBC, 10/13/06]

General Services Administration: After a GSA meeting during which White House deputy director of political affairs Scott Jennings gave a PowerPoint presentation that included slides listing Democratic and Republican seats the White House viewed as vulnerable in 2008, a map of contested Senate seats and other information on 2008 election strategy, GSA Administrator Lurita Doan asked how GSA could help “our candidates.” Special Counsel Scott Bloch has since advised the President that Doan should “be disciplined to the fullest extent for her serious violation of the Hatch Act.” [Congress Daily, 6/12/07]

Department of Justice: “Unlike federal judges, immigration judges are civil service employees, to be appointed by the attorney general based on professional qualifications, not their politics. [During Attorney General Alberto Gonzales’s aide Monica Goodling’s] tenure, vacancies were apparently not always posted and she selected lawyers to be considered for interviews based in part on their loyalty to the Republican Party and the Bush administration.” [New York Times, 5/25/07]

Department of Justice: “After the 2004 election, administration officials quietly began drawing up a list of US attorneys to replace. Considerations included their perceived loyalty to Bush and a desire by White House political adviser Karl Rove to increase voter fraud prosecutions, documents and testimony have shown. Most of the proposed firings were for US attorneys in states with closely divided elections. Among those later fired was David Iglesias, from the battleground state of New Mexico, where many of his fellow Republicans had demanded more aggressive voter fraud probes.” [Boston Globe, 5/6/07]

Interior Department: “A midlevel Interior Department official” received a “phone call from [Vice President Dick] Cheney in 2001, setting in motion a secret move to undermine the science of federal biologists who had said diverting water from the Klamath would violate the Endangered Species Act and devastate two imperiled species of fish.” [The Oregonian, 6/30/07]

Interior Department: Deputy Assistant Secretary for Fish and Wildlife and Parks Julie MacDonald has consistently “rejected staff scientists’ recommendations to protect imperiled animals and plants under the Endangered Species Act.” A civil engineer with no training in biology, she has “overruled and disparaged” the findings of her staff, instead relying on the recommendations of political and industry groups. [Washington Post, 10/30/06]

Defense Department: “[T]he Pentagon’s public affairs division has become a dumping ground for administration cronies…seek[ing] to bypass the traditional media and work directly with talk radio and bloggers, mostly those with a heavily conservative tilt.” [Harper’s Magazine, 7/16/07]

Defense Department: “The Defense Department…has stepped up intelligence collection inside this country since 9/11, which now includes the monitoring of peaceful anti-war and counter-military recruitment groups.” [MSNBC, 9/14/05]

NASA: “The top climate scientist at NASA says the Bush administration has tried to stop him from speaking out since he gave a lecture last month calling for prompt reductions in emissions of greenhouse gases linked to global warming…officials at NASA headquarters had ordered the public affairs staff to review his coming lectures, papers, postings on the Goddard [Institute for Space Studies] Web site and requests for interviews from journalists.” [New York Times, 1/29/06]

Food and Drug Administration: “The top Food and Drug Administration official in charge of women’s health issues…resigned in protest against the agency’s decision to further delay a final ruling on whether the ‘morning-after pill’ should be made more easily accessible. ‘I can no longer serve as staff when scientific and clinical evidence, fully evaluated and recommended for approval by the professional staff here, has been overruled,’ she wrote in an e-mail to her staff and FDA colleagues.” [Washington Post, 9/1/05]

Health and Human Services: “An internal investigation by the Department of Health and Human Services confirms that the top Medicare official threatened to fire the program’s chief actuary if he told Congress that drug benefits would probably cost much more than the White House acknowledged.” [New York Times, 7/7/04]

Health and Human Services: “The Department of Health and Human Services recently revised its website, 4Parents.gov, and replaced factual data designed to help parents talk about preventing teen pregnancy with biased and misleading claims” reflecting administration policy. [NARAL, 7/10/07]

Office of the Surgeon General: “The first U.S. surgeon general appointed by President George W. Bush accused the administration on Tuesday of political interference and muzzling him on key issues like embryonic stem cell research.” [Reuters, 7/10/07]

Environmental Protection Agency: In a government report on the state of the environment, strong language that “climate change has global consequences for human health and the environment” was stricken by the White House, as was government research that suggests recent climate change is “likely mostly due to human activities.” The changes were protested by EPA staffers, who wrote in a confidential memo that the report “no longer accurately represents scientific consensus on climate change.” [CBS, 6/19/03]

Office of National Drug Control Policy: “At the request of Sara Taylor, the former White House Director of Political Affairs, John Walters, the nation’s drug czar, and his deputies traveled to 20 events with vulnerable Republican members of Congress in the months prior to the 2006 elections. The trips were paid for by federal taxpayers and several were combined with the announcement of federal grants or actions that benefited the districts of the Republican members.” [House Committee on Government Oversight and Reform, 6/17/07]

Corporation for Public Broadcasting: During his tenure, former CPB chairman Kenneth Tomlinson “moved to address what he contend[ed was] the left-leaning lineup of news programs at PBS by advocating the addition of new shows with a conservative outlook.” He “failed to strike a proper balance by infusing politics into so many decisions at CPB” and by “in essence, allowing the White House to help direct plans of the CPB.” According to Jeffrey Chester, executive director of the Center for Digital Democracy, this extreme politicization was “unprecedented.” [National Public Radio, 6/20/05]

Doesn't it just make you want to cry (or call for impeachment, at the very least)?

The Majority Does Not Rule America

Jordan at introspections.org has composed a nice, referenced article about ten ways in which our political system does not adhere to the "majority rules" principle:

10. Marijuana Decriminalization. A 2007 poll conducted by Zogby International indicates that a slight majority of Americans favour the abolishment of criminal penalties for minor marijuana offenses: “Forty-nine percent of respondents, including 57 percent of men, said they would support “a law in Congress that would eliminate federal penalties for the personal use of marijuana by adults and allow states to adopt their own policies on marijuana.” Only 48 percent of those polled said they oppose such a law; three percent were undecided. The poll has a margin of error of ±3 percentage points.” ¹ Growing numbers are also in favour of outright legalization with 41% agreeing that “the government should treat marijuana more or less the same way it treats alcohol: it should regulate it, control it, tax it and only make it illegal for children.” ²

9. Universal Health Care. Various polls ^{1 2} find that Americans want significant changes to the current medical system, including guaranteed government coverage even if it means paying more: “Americans across party lines willing to make some sacrifice to insure that every American has access to health insurance. Sixty percent, including 62 percent of independents and 46 percent of Republicans, said they would be willing to pay more in taxes. Half said they would be willing to pay as much as $500 a year more.”

8. Stricter Campaign Finance Laws. A large majority (66%) of Americans support an increasing of regulations on how politicians obtain and spend money. ¹ Regarding the 2000 election: “Nearly three-fourths of the voters participating in the survey said Texas Gov. George W. Bush’s $70 million fund-raising tally is ‘excessive and a sign of what’s wrong with politics today.” Similarly, 40 percent said Bush is the presumptive nominee because of “the amount of money he raised.’” ²

7. Equal Aid to Palestinians and Israelis. Increasingly dissatisfied with the mid-east peace process, Americans want more results for their high levels of aid money to Israel. “in polling conducted 2002-2003, majorities supported the US withholding or reducing its aid to Israel and the Palestinians, as a means of pressure to influence their behavior”. ¹ Americans also favour increasing the levels of aid to the Palestinians contingent on acceptance of a negotiated peace proposal: “Asked in a May 2003 PIPA poll “if the Palestinians come to terms with Israel in a peace agreement, do you think the US should equalize the amount of aid it gives to Israel and to the Palestinians,” 67% indicated they would support an equalizing aid to Palestine.” and “In the same 2003 PIPA poll with a different sample, respondents were told how much aid is currently given to Palestine, and were then asked to provide their own assessment of how much aid should be given if Palestine were to make peace with Israel. The median response was to increase aid to $1 billion, more than 14 times the $70 million provided at the time. The average response indicated a willingness to increase aid to $2.37 billion (somewhat lower than the amount indicated for Israel).” The terms of peace are overwhelmingly accepted by the Palestinian population: “A total of 72.1% of Palestinians support the Taba or Oslo B Agreement between Israel and the Palestinians.” ²

6. Reducing Military Spending. When Americans were asked in a 2005 poll how they would structure the Federal budget, the answers could hardly have been more clear: “Defense spending received the deepest cut, being cut on average 31 percent — equivalent to $133.8 billion — with 65 percent of respondents cutting.” This does not indicate an unwillingness to support the troops however: “respondents particularly preserved spending for troops, including for salaries (82%), the overall number of military personnel (61%), and development of new equipment for infantry and Marines (64%). Spending relevant to fighting terrorism was also preserved, such as for intelligence (62%), troops for special operations (58%), and advanced communications systems (69%). Also preserved was spending on capabilities for conducting peacekeeping (58%), fighting insurgents or guerrillas (56%), and work on new types of high-technology missiles and bombs (55%).” ¹

5. Increased Social Spending. The same poll showing American’s interest in cutting defense spending also pointed to areas where spending would increase of people had control over the economy: “The largest increases were for social spending. Spending on human capital was especially popular including education which was increased $26.8 billion (39%) and job training and employment which was up $19 billion or a remarkable 263%. Medical research was upped on average $15.5 billion (53%). Veterans benefits were raised 40 percent or $12.5 billion and housing went up 31 percent or $9.3 billion. In most cases clear majorities favored increases (education 57%, job training 67%, medical research 57%, veteran’s benefits 63%), though only 43 percent of respondents favored increases for housing.” ¹

4. Acceptance of the Kyoto Protocol. By a wide majority Americans agree that the United States should participate in the Kyoto protocol: “In June 2005, PIPA simply asked “based on what you know, do you think the U.S. should or should not participate in the Kyoto agreement to reduce global warming.” A strong majority of 73% favored participation. This was up a bit from September 2004, when only 65% favored it. Only 16% in June 2005 and September 2004 opposed participation.” ^{1 2}

3. A Diplomatic Solution with Iran. Only 20% ¹ - 40% ² of Americans support a military strike against Iran to destroy its nuclear facilities. Diplomatic action backed by sanctions is supported by about 60% of Americans: “This ABC News/Washington Post poll finds sanctions the preferred option across the political spectrum”.

2. Pulling Troops out of Iraq. Both the American citizenry and armed forces support a timetable for withdrawal from Iraq: “Most Americans support the U.S. House provision setting a timetable that calls for most U.S. troops to be out of Iraq by September 2008, said a survey released on Wednesday. According to the CBS News poll, 59 percent of those surveyed favored the provision while 37 percent opposed it.” ¹ Perhaps even more telling is the strong opposition to the war from within the army itself: “An overwhelming majority of 72% of American troops serving in Iraq think the U.S. should exit the country within the next year, and more than one in four say the troops should leave immediately, a new Le Moyne College/Zogby International survey shows.” ²

1. The Impeachment of George W. Bush. Majorities of Americans think that George Bush should be impeached for one of two possible crimes: unauthorized wire-tapping of the public and/or misleading the people in to a war with Iraq. On the matter of wire-tapping: “The poll found that 52% agreed with the statement: “If President Bush wiretapped American citizens without the approval of a judge, do you agree or disagree that Congress should consider holding him accountable through impeachment.” 43% disagreed, and 6% said they didn’t know or declined to answer. The poll has a +/- 2.9% margin of error.” ¹ On the issue of Iraq: “The poll found that 50% agreed with the statement: “If President Bush did not tell the truth about his reasons for going to war with Iraq, Congress should consider holding him accountable by impeaching him.” 44% disagreed, and 6% said they didn’t know or declined to answer. The poll has a +/- 3.1% margin of error.” ²

Runner Up.

Jurisdiction to the International Criminal Court. “Americans are at least twice as likely to agree as to disagree that the United States should participate in the International Criminal Court (53%-22%)” ¹

What Would a Viking Do? t-shirts & more

What, you ask, could cause such tumult in the Outpost that this design debut sale announcement is coming to you a full two days after the fact?

Although I would love to answer that question for you in the nicest, most sincere way possible, this week the higher ups enacted "one rule to rule them all" (I doubt they even noticed the redundancy in that parody, but I'm sure it made them feel smart to have thought it up) that supersedes my better judgment.

(I hope they don't fire me for parenthetically inserting a suggestion that those who are easily offended skip past the gore to learn about our new subscription options with parental controls[ish]. If they ask, I didn't say anything.)

You want me to put an axe through your head!? Quit asking those stupid questions!

According to our new corporate policy, every member of the 52tease.com team, whenever confronted with a decision, is to ask him or herself, "What would a viking do?"

Apparently, our scientificologists have become pretty upset that ninjas, pirates, clowns and even Spartans are getting all sorts of Intersphere loving while vikings have gone all but unnoticed among those who rally around a regression-fueled childhood icon.

What can I say? They got the scientificological lobby together and petitioned the boss-types to not only launch a new viking t-shirt design, but also to change the corporate structure in an effort to garner media attention to their cause.

Who knows, maybe CNN is looking for a story about Viking as corporate culture. Well, our offices are open for interviews (but don't be surprised if we're drinking mead out of animal horns and decide to slice off your heads with axes--we just do that sometimes).

In the midst of this corporate restructuring, we've also managed to completely update our RSS and E-mail subscription system. Subscribe via RSS or e-mail to only those posts that interest you. Confused by these options? Find more information on our subscription page.

New T-shirt Designs on Sale (weekly updates, at most)

52tease.com Weekly T-shirt Sale (every category)
Family Friendly(ish) 52tease.com Weekly T-shirt Sale (every category except "mature humor")
Political Apparel Designs
Graphic T-shirt Designs
Mature Humor Designs
Family Humor Designs
WWWT? (What were we thinking?) Designs

The 52tease.com Blog (updates possible multiple times a day)
52tease.com Buzzzzz (the whole enchilada)
52tease.com Linkage (no new shirts, only links to the Intersphere)

Hopefully the boss-types will come to their senses and we'll be back to the "norm" by next week

10 Easy Ways to Live a Better Life

Adrian Savage at Lifehack.org, a very interesting website that may have flown under your radar, has an excellent list of "10 virtually instant ways to improve your life".

Of course, these all seem to boil down to one simple rule, "become Buddhist," but why involve religion when you don't have to?

1. Stop jumping to conclusions.
2. Don’t dramatize.
3. Don’t invent rules.
4. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations.
5. Quit being a perfectionist.
6. Don’t over-generalize.
7. Don’t take things so personally.
8. Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy.
9. Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic.
10.Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on.

Smoking Etiquette, Japanese-Style

If you have ever been to Japan, you are aware of the preponderance of smokers in public and private spaces. We've heard, in fact, that the Japanese government has a strong financial interest (beyond taxation) in keeping Japan "smoker-friendly".

According to Wikipedia, Japan Tobacco (JT) "traces its origins to 1898. Incorporated in 1949 as the Japan Tobacco and Salt Public Corporation, Japan Tobacco was a state monopoly until 1985, when it became a public company. It was two-thirds owned by the Japanese Ministry of Finance until June 2004, and the Japanese government share is presently 50%. Japan Tobacco controls 66.4% of the cigarette market in Japan."

We have to admit that, as much as we dislike cigarette smoking (seriously, why even bother putting all those pollutants in your body for nothing?), we're happy that this suicidal habit has given Japan Tobacco fodder for these informative and philosophical smoking etiquette posters. (tons more available on Japan Tobacco's website)

America-On the Right Path

Hey America, we're happy to see that you're heading down the right path. Hopefully, Bush's tanking approval rating relates to his regime's incompetence in every aspect of their administration and absolute disdain for anyone with less than a million in their bank account and not just a the magnetic pull of popular opinion.

Just remember...whenever you're ready to hit zero confidence/approval for the Bushies, we'll be waiting there with a drink waiting for you.



BTW, who the heck is Gallup polling that they are often so many points above the other pollsters?

Our Most Recent (and last?) Big Birthing

Sorry that you hadn't heard from us in a while, but there have been so many things going on in the past week and a half that we're just happy to finally be finished with it all.

As I'm sure you're aware, the media just decided in the last two weeks that Dick Cheney's hegemony of the Executive branch (from outside yet inside the Executive branch, mind you) as well as the proposed articles of impeachment were some newsworthy items. You can thank us for that.

Sure, we may appear to be a lowly t-shirt shop with few political connections, but we happen to have some attentive ears on the inside.

Unfortunately, Trickier Dick and his band of unmerry men sniffed us out so we had to go underground for a little while. In fact, we are so scared of Cheney's probing claws, we've completely overhauled our web site to throw him and the CIA off our trail.

Which brings us to the other special events we celebrated over the past week. We were fortunate enough to celebrate a birthday and a "birth" day. The former, a celebration of America's independence, went off pretty well (except for some rain, but our scientificologists were prepared for that with some sort of new tarp with one sticky side they were testing out...it worked pretty well until the bugs decided to try to eat the glue. As you might expect, that was quite an ugly mess.) and the latter has been a difficult birth to rival the creation of the universe --at least as far as our scientificologists can accurately assess.

The second birth was one of our own. That's right. The 52tease.com community is proud to present our bouncing baby, a beautiful creature if ever we saw one and testament to the evil that birthing can be.

Before you go around passing cigars, though, our lawyertainers have indicated our legal responsibility to impart to you the information that this baby is not, in fact, human, but a brand new website design for 52tease.com (go on, check it out. It's funtacular!)

We affectionately call the cute little tike "52tease.com version 5" around the Outpost. Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?

Although we love the wee little one to death, the delivery of this bundle of joy has caused the entire 52tease.com staff to swear off any future parturition in the near future.

In fact, some have gone and sworn off kids forever. In honor of their commitment to being "kid free" we are happy to debut our first design celebrating the absolute end of our patience (that doesn't have to do with the Bush administration, of course), vasectomized t-shirts and gifts.

Of course, we recognize that the majority of men who choose to get a vasectomy already have children, that's why we've put together a hilarious gift for the child of a vasectomy patient. These children's items say "daddy says i'm the reason he got himself vasectomized."

What? We could send the scientificologists home after over forty-eight hours away from their families (hence the late arrival) without at least a little present for their kids. Right?

Mood: exasperated (in a good way) Playing: Reggae - to calm the soul

Bzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzzz Bzzzzzzzzzz

Maintaining radio silence. The big DC may be onto us.

He won't stop us from putting out new t-shirt designs on sale, though. Enjoy!

Change Your Route in Google Maps with Click and Drag!

Want to avoid that intersection you know is always crawling with traffic? Just click and drag the route away from there to create your own best path. You can create as many "change" points as you want. AWESOME!

read more | digg story

Get Out of the Heat and Into the Ice House

Well, after kvetching about the horrible state of the world in terms of global warming, we thought it might be a nice change to offer you some cool thoughts.

The accompanying picture, of an abandoned waterfront cottage covered entirely in ice was taken in Plymouth Massachusetts.

According to the photographer, the milky white color is achieved through a mix of the salty seawater and sand.

Apparently, not only do several houses in Massachusetts get this treatment in the wintertime, but also a lighthouse in Grand Haven Michigan.

If you'd like to see a completely different take on an icehouse, you can check out this one found on a frozen Lake Superior.