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The Perfect Blog Post

I have strived (striven? striveded?) for years to write the perfect blog post. I think I finally have it. Here goes (ahem):

Introduction involving cute puppy, family member, description of recent travels or new toy.

Synergy. Web 2.0 internet conversations branding. Branding conversations web 2.0 XML hyperlinking dynamic community.

Twitter.

Facebook social media 3.0 mashup, ROI analytics and metrics to leverage marketing. Blogging RSS web 4.0. Dry humor here hahahaha. Google is on a mission to possess our very souls. Yahoo! sucks. Microsoft joke hahahahahahhaha.

Steve Jobs is cool. Guy Kawasaki quote here. Steve Ballmer chair-throwing reference. Reference to 2008 presidential campaign.

Self promotion.

Analogy to current events that is so tenuous it stretches the very fabric of space and time. Unsubstantiated rumors and claims. Obligatory grammar bad. A typo or too.

Web 5.0!. Shining epiphany!

Obligatory List

• Web 2.0
• Write great content
• Join the conversation
• Be sincere

• List of 10000 sites you can add your link to

Flattering other bloggers link.

Desperate plea for comments, bookmarks, Stumbles and Diggs.

Attempt at friendly goodbye.

Toodles!

Marketing Sherpa's 2009 Email Marketing Benchmark Guide

[I get paid if you buy a copy - full disclosure. It's a dang good book though.]

When someone tells me that, to improve my e-mail marketing, I need to "write more compelling content", my first impulse is to hit them with something heavy and unforgiving. These kinds of vague pronouncements are like telling me I can lose weight by eating less and exercising more.

Marketing Sherpa has mastered the art of not doing that, which is why I am an unabashed Sherpa fanboy. I love their books.

Their 2009 Email Marketing Benchmark Guide is no exception.

It's chart geek heaven, with hundreds of images showing you what works and what doesn't, heatmaps showing you where folks look and click in e-mails and case studies.

A new addition, though, is their 12-Point Plan to improve e-mail marketing. It's a very cool step-by-step for getting more out of your newsletter, special offers or whatever else you're using.

Some details include:

• How to know whether you're spamming.
• Improving open rates.
• Techniques to test e-mail creative, subject lines and opt-ins.
• Lots and lots of advice, tips and commiseration from other marketers, so you know you're not just getting theoretical meanderings.

This may have been in last year's guide, but if it was, I was too far into a Vicodin-induced haze to remember it.

I'll warn you: It's pricey: At $397 a copy it might cause palpitations. But we made that back on a single mailing to a 1,000-member list.

So, if you want a great e-mail marketing encyclopedia that gives you real, actionable advice (gasp), buy this book:

Google 2009: The Painful Details

OK, a few of you are gluttons for punishment. You asked me to give you some details as to how I researched and wrote my SEO 2009: Adapt or Die piece. Here are the basics.

Read the Patents

I subscribe to a Google blog search for "Google Patent", and scour the news that I read.

I also go search the US Patent Office for Google-related patents.

In this case, I saw a patent from 2005 some time ago regarding information retrieval based on historical data. It generated a lot of interest a while back because it showed that Google was starting to use domain age as an indicator of quality. What really got my spidey-sense tingling, though, was this bit of information in the patent:

36. The method of claim 1, wherein the one or more types of history data includes information relating to user behavior associated with documents; and wherein the generating a score includes: determining user behavior associated with the document, and scoring the document based, at least in part, on the user behavior associated with the document.

37. The method of claim 36, wherein the user behavior relates to at least one of a number of times that the document is selected within a set of search results and an amount of time that one or more users spend accessing the document...

...47. The method of claim 45, wherein the scoring the document includes: analyzing the user maintained or generated data over time to identify at least one of trends to add or remove the document, a rate at which the document is added to or removed from the user maintained or generated data, and whether the document is added to, deleted from, or accessed through the user maintained or generated data, and scoring the document based, at least in part, on a result of the analyzing.

In English, this means Google's going to track the percentage of time spent on n pages visited where 'n' is the number of documents they click from the Google search results. It also means Google is looking at bookmarking, social voting, SearchWiki, Google Notebook and who-knows-what-else to get a clue as to which web pages matter and which don't.

That's a profound shift from the days when links, site structure and keyword density were all that mattered.

So, the patents seemed to point to a shift towards behavioral ranking. But I graduated from law school with a B- average, so I never trust my interpretation of legal documents. I need a bit more.

Test My Assumptions

This part isn't exact. Marketing never is. Sorry.

I launched, nearly simultaneously, three test sites. I can't tell you what they are because I don't want to wreck my sites' rankings - they're legit sites. I just used them as experiments.

Site A was an application that let folks compare how their car performs next to others. It's nearly uncrawlable, except for a few generic information pages.

Site B was just plain silly. It's only one page.

Site C was a pure keyword-sniping site. A blog built for one purpose: To get a top ranking for a juicy key phrase. But it's loaded with great content.

All three sites targeted keywords with nearly-equal competition, both in number of competing pages and apparent level of optimization.

Site C jumped up in the rankings within a few weeks. It was super keyword-relevant. It attracted links, too. But average time on site for my target keyword was under 1 minute, and the bounce rate was over 80%. Site C yo-yo's up and down in the rankings and has yet to stabilize, in spite of continued writing.

Site B got a ton of links and mentions and generated some buzz. But it had almost zero content. For months it didn't rank. But it did average over 2 minutes time on site for my target keyword, and a very low bounce rate of 30% for that keyword. After a couple months it gained a top 3 ranking and has stayed there ever since. I haven't updated the site since.

Site A got lots of traffic for a short time, and has since tailed off to almost nothing. It has, however, maintained a time on site for my target keyword of over 2 minutes, and a low 30% bounce rate. It gained a high ranking very quickly and has stayed there. I've not touched the site since I launched it.

Which Site Won?

None of them won. They all finished about even, with decent rankings for target phrases and equal percentage of available traffic.

Which made no sense at all. If you're banking on the traditional hallmarks of good SEO, site C should've won: It had more content, the same link authority and the best keyword targeting.

How did a dinky little one-page site with almost no content (site B) and a few links keep up? The only way it outperformed site C was bounce rate and time on site for my target keyword.

The same held true for site A. It looks awful in every way, except that time on site and bounce rate for my target keyword was nearly 3x better than for site C.

Conclusions

Such as they are:

• Google is weighing site performance and user behavior for specific keywords. Sites with lower bounce rates and higher time on site after search (TOSAS) for a specific keyword gain leverage for that keyword, and have a shot at a high ranking in spite of less content and/or few links. That's why sites A and B outperformed C for months.
• Content, while important, can't sustain your high ranking in the absence of visitor behavior that proves site relevance. That's why site C continues to struggle: People just don't spend much time there. That doesn't mean you should stop writing. It means you should write well.
• Google's been pondering user behavior as a ranking factor since at least 2005. Probably for longer. Their patent application proves that.

So, there you have it. My unscientific seat-of-the-pants test, plus patent analysis. Go take an aspirin and send me your comments in the morning.

Related Posts

PS: I wrote this after eating, in a 5 hour period: Smoked bacon with black-eyed peas, Wonton soup, edamame, shredded sesame beef and then a chocolate souffle. With 3 beers. All because my wife is a terrible influence. Attractive, smart and my better half, but a terrible, terrible influence. It's amazing I'm still alive, much less writing. So be kind in your critique.

SEO 2009: Adapt or Die

There's a meteor headed our way. Plug your ears, sing LALALALALALA all you want. It won't change a thing.

Google's about to make search engine optimization (SEO) into marketing, for good. How? They've been slowly adding user behavior to their ranking algorithm. Bet on far bigger changes after January 1st.

I won't go into the many painful technical details of how I've arrived at this conclusion. If you want to know, Twitter me and I'll cheerfully bore you to extinction.

Here's what's you need to know:

Organic Click-Thru Rate Will Matter. A Lot.

The organic click-thru rate (CTR) is going to affect rankings more than before. In English, 'organic CTR' is the percentage of people who click on your unpaid search listing versus those who see it and don't click. So, if 10 people search for 'rubber baby buggy bumpers', and 5 click on your listing, then you have a 50% organic CTR:

A higher organic CTR will tell Google you're more relevant and authoritative for that search query.

What you need to do: Improve your organic clickthru rate

• Write a good description tag. The description tag is the summary text that shows up in your search 'snippet'. A good, compelling description tag will encourage more folks to click.
• Write a good title tag. The title tag shows up at the top of your search result listing. A well-written title tag will also persuade more folks to click.
• Freeze. If you go and start clicking furiously on your site in the search results in an attempt to improve your rankings, you're... well... mentally challenged. Google's figured that one out. See the next item for that information.

Time On Site Will Matter. Even More.

Time on site after search (TOSAS - you heard it here first) is the amount of time someone spends on your web site after they click on an unpaid Google search results. The amount of time folks spend on your site after clicking a Google search result is also more and more important:

I've been tracking organic search traffic for client web sites over the last year. Sites with improved time on site saw improved organic search traffic within months of their improved time on site. During that time, those sites weren't conducting any SEO and saw no improvement in link popularity. Their content wasn't stale, but they weren't writing their brains out, either. All 5 sites were 1-2 years old. The only thing they improved? Usability. Time on site.

What you need to do: Clarify your offer, and watch your analytics

• Make sure your description and title tag sync up with the page to which they belong. You want improved time on site? Give people what they expect when they click on your listing in the search results.
• Track your organic landing pages. Every page on your site is a potential organic landing page. Search engines pick the page they'll list in the rankings - you don't. Those pages are your organic landing pages. So watch the pages that draw search traffic and backtrack. Figure out the keywords that are generating traffic to those pages. Then adjust those pages so they make sense in context of those keywords.
• Use your analytics. Watch time spent on each organic landing page. Test those pages, obsessively. Find the best combination of headline, copy, layout and offer. Then do it again.

Don't start whining that this isn't SEO. It is now. Get used to it.

Social actions will matter, too.

This one's been evident for a while: Search engines are also adding bookmarking, stumbles, Diggs and other information into the equation. If you can get more folks to add your site to their Google Notebook, or promote it to the top of Google Searchwiki, or bookmark your site on Del.icio.us, then yeah, your ranking's going to probably improve a bit.

Rankings will matter. Even less.

Bruce Clay may have gone a bit far when he said rankings are dead. They're maimed, but definitely still alive.

But rankings don't matter. They are, at most, a means to an end. And with personalized search, rankings will be harder and harder to consistently track. Instead, track:

• Traffic from organic search. How many visitors are you getting from organic search results?
• Keywords generating traffic. What keywords are generating that traffic? Are they branded (meaning they include your brand name) or non-branded?
• Bounce rate from organic search visits. How many visitors from organic search look at one page and leave without clicking to another page? The more folks that leave, the higher your bounce rate. A high bounce rate is bad.
• Conversion rate. Hard to believe, but what really matters is sales, and leads and stuff.

It'll be harder to spam the search engines. For a while.

It's harder to fake behavioral triggers. You can bookmark the hell out of your site, of course, but that's not going to be enough to tilt the algorithm in your favor. You're going to have to (gasp) deliver real value to your audience.

However, the first company to hire 1000 people around the world to all carefully click, browse, bookmark and otherwise generate apparently legitimate traffic to a site will probably prompt the major search engines to once again tweak their algorithms, adding some new ranking factor, and ruining it for the rest of us.

What you need to learn.

If you're an SEO professional or The Person Who Got Stuck With SEO, you'd better add a few skills to your tool belt:

• Usability. Don't confuse this with design. Google doesn't give a flying poop if your site looks nice.
• Analytics. You'd better be good at analyzing how long folks spend visiting your site, and how to improve it.
• Writing. I don't mean the act of pressing keys on a keyboard. I mean the act of making yourself understood when pressing those keys.

Does this mean content's gone? Woo hoo! No more writing!!!

Yeah, no.

Search engines still care about content, link authority, visibility and the like. They're just adding these behavioral hallmarks to the equation.

Plus, if you write crappy content or just never update your site, visitors will click through to the site, then bounce back to Google, lowering your TOSAS and killing your rankings.

So it's still about the content.

Other resources

While researching this post, I spent a lot of time poring over Google patent applications. The best plain English description of the patent that caught my interest (and a few other people's), is SEOMOZ's nifty explanation.

I also read a whole bunch of different forum threads where lots of smart people were discussing comments made by Bruce Clay about the death of rankings. The best thread I found was on the Cre8asite Forums.

And, I plumbed the depths of my extremely messed up, travel- and kid-addled head. So don't be a lemming: Read what I've written, check your own assumptions, and then let me know what you find. I'll pull those findings together here.

This article is only about Google, but trust me, it applies to every major search engine. If you think Yahoo! and Live won't immediately race to match Google feature-for-feature, you're insane.

Get More Customers (and Links) With Smart Domain Setup

You've got your site all set up at a nice, shiny new domain name. Chances are, though, you're losing visitors. And link authority.

Why? Because typos abound, and you're not catching them. Here's how you can grab a lot of traffic that you may be missing right now, and build better link authority, too:

Step 1: Reserve Typo Domains

First off, reserve domains that may be typos or different interpretations of your domain. If your web address is 'www.yourdomain.com', reserve:

• www.yourdomains.com
• www.your-domain.com
• www.ourdomains.com
• www.ourdomai.com

Obviously, you could end up spending $10,000 on typo domains, so you need to apply a little sanity test: I tend to focus on typos I've seen other people make.

Once you have those domains reserved, 301 redirect them to your primary domain.

If you're not sure what a 301 redirect is, check with your web hosting provider.

Step 2: Set Up Catch-all

Next, set up a catch-all for your domain, so that if someone types:

• ww.yourdomain.com
• w.yourdomain.com
• yourdomain.com

...they're 301-redirected to 'www.yourdomain.com'.

I personally make the 'ww.yourdomain.com' error at least 20 times a day. Set that up and I'll write nice things about you.

The Result

Take a few minutes to set these up and two things happen:

1. Customers find you in spite of typos. It's like having multiple entrances on your store: They'll love you for it.
2. Because of the 301 redirection, you'll still get some of the link authority from folks who can't correctly type your domain name.

Happiness abounds!

By the way, I've personally only implemented maybe 1 out of these 5-6 things on my own sites. So before you start leaving gloating comments, consider me chastised.

SEO Copywriting: How Much? And How Often?

"How much do I need to write if I want to be #1?"

I hear that question a lot. The short answer is: "As much as gets you there. Not one word more."

But I do have some basic rules of thumb.

They're basic. Very basic.

So I decided to write 'em down, and have some fun with Google Knol, at the same time:

SEO Copywriting Frequency.

The simple criteria I set out in the article has worked well for me over the years. But people still look at me like I'm a moron when I bring it up. So feel free to review, curse, comment on how stupid I am, etc. on Knol, for all the world to see.

Related Articles
SEO Copywriting 101: Search Engines Ain't That Smart
A Copywriter's Guide to Semantic Markup
A Copywriter's Guide to Linking
And of course my E-book on SEO Copywriting

Marketing Sherpa's Having a Sale

Just an FYI: MarketingSherpa is having a 30% off sale on all their books, including the Landing Page Handbook and the E-mail Benchmarks Guide.


Have a Look Here

Their books are pretty pricey but worth every penny. At 30% off it's definitely worth a look.

Seattle Blizzard 2.0

Yes, I finally wrote '2.0' on my blog without referring to violence. We had a real, honest-to-goodness blizzard last night, with snow drifts and stuff:

11 Internet Marketing Trends To Ignore in 2009

After having a bit of success with my 11 Internet Marketing Trends to Ignore in 2008, I thought I'd give it another shot.

My only totally incorrect predictions from 2008: E-books are catching on, and podcasts now capture a .002% audience, not .00001%. My bad.

1. Analytics. Yeah, you heard me. I love analytics. But they're gonna flop big-time in 2009 when everyone looks at everyone else and says "Holy crap. There's no standards!" If a pageview on Google Analytics isn't a pageview in Omniture, how the hell can anyone compare anything? Look for 2010 to be the Year of the Standards, and for someone to make millions of dollars talking about "Analytics 2.0". At which point I'll take out a contract on their worthless lives.
2. Vertical Search. I hate to kick that dead dog again, but it sucked in 2007, it sucked in 2008, and it'll continue to suck wind in 2009, assuming anyone actually bothers to try and start another vertical search service.
3. Google Searchwiki. Actually, this service will do well. But spammers will abuse it. After 1 million people bury the #1 listing for "bailout" and it throws Google's results on their ear, Google will implement new, undocumented policies that render Searchwiki utterly random.
4. Mobile Advertising. Someone else called this a trend, saying it'll "flourish". I love the StrangeCorp blog, but flourish? I don't think so. Maybe among us snobby elites, but it takes more than 10,000 to make a serious advertising market.
5. The average web user will continue to refuse to even sniff curiously at RSS.
6. Internet Explorer 8. Everyone's talking about it. I don't care. Google Chrome and FireFox will continue to take big bites out of IE, which will be released on December 31 2009 so Microsoft can keep their promise.
7. Content marketing. 2008 was the Year of Crappy Content. Everyone who thought they could write slapped together an ebook (cough) and threw it on the web for sale. 2009 will be The Year We Go Broke, when we realize spending 4 days to write a 30 page booklet that earns a total of $300 a month isn't worth it.
8. Social Media Conferences. In 2008 these things sprang up like zits on my forehead when I was 14. In 2009 layoffs, travel costs and the utter horror of air travel in the US will thin things out a bit.
9. Nofollow. The concept of pagerank sculpting will die a horrific death when Matt Cutts reveals it never existed, and he was just messing with us.
10. Twitter monetization. OK, I'm addicted to Twitter, I admit it. But how the hell will Twitter make money?
11. Yahoo!'s Downfall. Further indication the world has gone insane: The banking system has collapsed, the Big 3 are bankrupt, we lost 500,000 jobs in November 2008, and we're bitching about Yahoo!'s "decline". Why are we mourning the 'failure' of the #2 search company on the planet? A company that is profitable?!

This is NOT investment advice! As always, I take no responsibility for the accuracy of these predictions. Note that my stock portfolio has lost at least 50% of its value in the last 12 months.

5 Things You're Forgetting on Your E-commerce Site

So, you're working hard on SEO. You want that higher ranking. Rankings rankings! Nothing else matters!

Then, suddenly, your organic traffic is going up, but your sales aren't.

You could fire your SEO firm. Clearly your search engine optimization efforts are a flop. I mean, all they did was generate more traffic, right?

Or, you could consider other possibilities and address them:

1: Conversions Are Lousy

You're getting more traffic but not more sales. That means your site sucks.

Sorry, but it's true. Unless your SEO pro is a total moron, they picked the right keywords. Your site's failing to generate sales because people don't like what they see when they get there.

Check your referring keywords report. If the keywords are relevant but they're not generating sales, something is turning people away.

Time to dig deeper.

2: The Cart

Ideally, put goal funnel tracking in place in your cart so you can see if people are abandoning you during checkout. Nail down the problem and address it.

If you can't, though, follow this checklist for your cart:

• If your cart requires a login before checkout, fix it! I don't care if you have a 'check out as guest' option. If you show any kind of form requiring a password on the first checkout page, you're losing customers. Remove the form! You'll sell more stuff.
• Make sure your cart shows shipping costs right on the shipping page. When someone clicks that little 'UPS' box, they should immediately know what it's going to cost them to ship. That way they can change it right then and there. Show 'em the shipping costs on the order confirmation page and chances are they'll leave in a huff.
• Be sure customers can edit any part of their order - billing information, shipping, etc. - directly from the order confirmation page.
• Can customers check 'Shipping address is same as billing address' and save themselves some typing? If not, it's time to add that feature.
• Remove every unnecessary action you're currently forcing customers to take. Don't need their phone number? Don't ask for it. Don't need their full ZIP+4 code? Don't ask for it! Are 99% of your customers in the USA? Have that pre-selected in the billing and shipping form.
• Show customers where they are. If your cart is a 4-step checkout process, then show what step they're at, and make sure they know it's only 4 steps.
• Make sure your cart is speedy. Long delays between steps will drive people away like bug spray in a bee hive.
• If your cart doesn't validate for address, credit card, phone, etc., slice off your left pinky. Then fix it.

If your developer says they can't make these changes, or even tries to bill you for it after swearing they could build a great site for you, slap them. When they fall down, kick them. When they stop crying, tell them to fix the damned site. Anyone who tells you they're an internet marketer or site designer should know better. None of this stuff is rocket science. If they don't, it's time they learned.

3: The Product Page

If someone's coming to your site from a search engine, there's a good chance they're landing on a product page. Make sure your product page is eassssssy to read:

• First, have a price. On the page. Where people can see it.
• Put that price in close proximity to a quantity and check out button.
• Put all of that in close proximity to a quality photograph of your product. I don't care if you sell rubber washers. Photography still matters.
• Make sure the product page loads fast. If I click your ad for bike tires, I'd better see bike tires in 10 seconds or less. Otherwise, I'm gone.
• Show product options in a simple, easy interface. Don't get all complicated. No one likes complicated. Half the country has a hard time spelling complicated.
• Put your product benefits in a clear, bulleted list. This isn't literature. It's marketing.
• Have the product name at the top of the page. Sigh. I can't believe I still have to write this stuff....

4: General Stuff

Does your home page make it clear you're an online store, with products and prices and stuff? Seriously, does it? If it doesn't, and I land there after a search for 'Radio Flyer Wagons', I'm probably gonna leave.

Do you have decent quality description tags for each page on your site? Does each page have a clear, descriptive title tag? If not, a lot of people may be coming to your site under incorrect assumptions. Remember, those tags show up in your search listing.

Does your site have a decent quality onsite search tool? How else am I going to find stuff?

Do you have analytics in place, so you know where folks come from, when they buy, and when they leave? You need that data if you're going to improve.

5: The Painful Truth

At some point, you may have to face the painful truth: Your site isn't getting it done. If so, you can rebuild. That costs money, like a lot of businesses.

You can make changes, which costs money, like a lot of businesses.

Or you can hang onto what you first built, ignore your customers and just hope that 100,000 visitors will fix what 1,000 couldn't.

It's your choice.

SEO Copywriting 101: Search Engines Ain't That Smart

Search engines are cool, but they aren't that bright. They don't know that you meant 'car' when you typed 'vehicle'.

If you've just spent 3 hours digging through a thesaurus, finding every alternative for 'shoes', start over. Burn the thesaurus. Think about the words that people use to find you.

Then, as a revolutionary new internet marketing strategy, actually write those words in your copy.

You'll get more traffic.

You'll get more sales/leads/whatever.

You may need to find the right keywords, first. I wrote about keyword selection in this article, and did a how presentation about the subject here. Plus I wrote a whole seo copywriting ebook on the subject.

That's actually the lesson for the day. The rest of this post is a meandering rant about the same topic, over and over. I'm emulating 75% of the blogosphere in hopes that my ad revenues will go up.

The tragedy of synonym diarrhea

Many moons ago, I did some copywriting for company. Let's call them Jane's Web Tools. Jane, the owner, had written her home page copy, and it read like this:

"Edit your personal online space, then forward it to your friends. Put your photographs, videos and personal notes into an web-powered album for them to enjoy."

I've changed the names, business and keywords to protect the innocent.

Of course, Jane was selling a blogging tool. Everyone searching for her searched for 'blogging tool' or 'personal blogging tool'.

She'd fallen victim to synonym diarrhea. Somewhere in grammar school, our teachers tell us to never use the same word twice in a paragraph. If you want to be the next Herman Melville, the key is to master the language and provide a veritable cornucopia of different words that all mean the same thing. Why call something a 'shoe' when you can call it 'footwear'?

Cough.

Our hero rides to the rescue

My first copywriting run generated something like this:

"Create your own customizable blog. Then add your own photographs, video and even audio files. Your friends will love it!"

We went through the same exercise throughout her site.

Her traffic went up. So did her conversions. She threw out her thesaurus.

The moral of the story

Use the keywords people use to find you.

footwear shoes
cycle bicycle
vessel sailboat

Get the idea?

I'm not suggesting you repeat the same keyword over and over. You have to use some judgment, and your sense as a copywriter.

Nor am I suggesting you use keywords purely for the search engines. There's no such thing as 'picking keywords for search engines'. Search engines don't spend their evenings and time off browsing the web on their own. People use keywords to find stuff. So, use the right keywords, and the rest will follow.

Nor am I suggesting that you start counting the number of occurrences of 'buggy bumpers' in your copy.

But you can emphasize the keywords and concepts that your audience will really use to find you.

'Emphasize' means:

• Put those keywords in your title tag;
• Put 'em in your headline;
• And put 'em early on in your page copy.

'nuff said.

That's it. You're on a time out.

This post might just get me fired. Some client somewhere will read it and be horribly offended that their behavior drives me crazy.

To them, I can only say: My kids drive me crazy, too. But I've stayed up all night with them when they're sick, driven them to the emergency room, helped them learn to read, add, multiply and to play Lego Star Wars. They're smart, just like you. They're sophisticated, just like you. And while I might not jump in front of a speeding car for you, I will do everything in my power to help you succeed.

Wear your ability to drive me to distraction as a badge of honor. I like you. I'm passionate about your products. But I'm sending you to sit on the stairs for 10 minutes.

When will we see results?

You just hired me three weeks ago to manage a product launch, a political campaign or what-have-you. You want my team to run multiple social media campaigns, an SEO campaign and analyze the results. When we talked, I may have pointed out 50-100 times repeatedly that we're looking at a long-term, 3-6 month commitment, minimum.

Yet there you are, a week later, telling me we have to produce results Right Now Dammit or we're fired.

Internet marketing takes time. Not much time. In the Bad Old Days you'd spend months and tens of thousands of dollars shooting a TV spot, then cross your fingers that it worked. Now, you roll out your campaign in a few weeks and start collecting data right away.

But it still takes time. I'm not ignoring you, neglecting your campaign or somehow failing you. We are hard at work. Be a little patient. Just a bit.

Why does this other site outrank me?...

We've been optimizing your site for 6 months. You've got lots of new content, some quality links and your organic site traffic has gone up 50%.

It just drives you nuts, though, that you don't rank number 1 for that one phrase.

The truth is, I probably have no idea why that site outranks you. Google won't tell me. I can analyze backlinks, review content and check their site all day long. It could be that Google favors sites with 'S' in their address over sites with 'G' in their address. I have no idea.

What I do know: If we keep adding quality content, keep your site visible and stick to the plan, success is inevitable. I'm way too obnoxious to lie, so trust me.

What else can you do?

Your CMS is broken. Your development team says it'll take 2 months to change your title tags. You don't have any budget for link work or PPC. And you won't let me launch a blog or another site.

So, Ian, what else can you do?

I can remain upright on a bicycle without moving. I can also recite most of The Raven from memory. And beat 4 people simultaneously at Starcraft.

However, I can't help you with your internet marketing campaign unless you're willing to take ownership. Fire your developers, no matter how much it scares you. Get a new CMS. Pull it all up by the roots and start over if you must. Sometimes change hurts, a lot, and I know you have enough problems without me coming in and playing the pouty consultant. But we internet marketers have your best interests at heart. Listen to us. A little. Once in a while. OK?

Have you seen this new tool...?

You just found a neat new gadget that will let visitors spin your product around on your site, zoom in on the minutest detail and then custom-order it.

It's cool! I agree!

But I think we'd better:

• Fix your shopping cart so it has less than a 90% bailout rate;
• Get your site more than 10% indexed by search engines;
• Set up analytics;
• Stop the bleeding in your PPC account.

I agree - I think it's a great tool. But you have to set priorities. Sales should be your first priority. Not coolness.

We're not getting conversions. What's wrong with you?

Too be honest, it ain't us. You hired someone else to build your site, another company to design your landing pages, another company to write your copy and then tacked us on to buy PPC ads.

I know it made financial sense, but you've got too many cooks. And frankly, most of them are stirring the soup with their hands because they don't know any better.

Fire us, and everyone else. Start over with a single, competent team that can pull it all together. You'll be better off in the end.

Nothing but love for ya

I sincerely, really do like all of my clients. I don't work with people I don't like. That's the benefit of working 15 hour days for 14 years - I get to choose.

I also know you're smart. That's why it sometimes drives me a little loopy when you stick your finger in the internet marketing outlet. Ask me next time, before you do, OK?

I pondered whether to publish this for about 2 hours after I wrote it. I finally did, figuring most of my clients know I'm totally insane anyway, and will likely ignore this entire post. I'm backing away now, sloooowwwllly...

10 Years Later, It's Still About The Content

Search engines have dominated the internet scene for at least 10 years now. And there's still only one totally reliable way to gain quality rankings that will truly last: Content.

You can build links, send out press releases, spam blog comments and attempt to game the search algorithms to your heart's content. None of it matters if you have a 5-page web site.

Sites with lots of quality content continue to dominate the rankings. Sites without crawlable text content continue to struggle.

Most important, search engines still base their rankings primarily on the text they find on your site.

So make sure that:

• Your site has at least as many pages of crawlable content - content that you can cut-and-paste from your browser into MS Word - as your competitors.
• You stick to the basic tenets of quality SEO copywriting. Write using a solid semantic structure, and use good link text.
• You write every day. I'm sorry, but this is the only way to produce good content. You must add to and update your site steadily and often. Daily is best. Weekly is OK. Monthly is not enough. Annually means you should find another job.
• You are patient. If you add 10 pages to your site this month, you'll see most of the effect of those additions a few months down the line.
You write with your customer - not search engines - in mind. If you write for search engines you may gain a high ranking, but you'll fail to qualify most new customers. So traffic growth might not mean sales growth.
• Everything you write is unique. Duplicate content may earn you the search engines' cold shoulder. Be sure whatever you put on your site cannot be found elsewhere on the internet. There are exceptions to this rule, but 99% of the time it holds true.
• If you can't do your own copywriting hire a professional to do it for you.
• Writing is one of the top priorities in your budget and/or plans for the year.

Case in point: One of our clients has consistently added 2-3 new articles per week to their web site. They've been in the top 5 for their industry's most competitive terms for over 2 years. While their rankings may bounce up and down, they stay in that top 5 range. The constant growth in onsite content helps them maintain those rankings.

Content still matters. It will probably matter 20 years from now. So don't neglect your site's copywriting while dedicating hours or days to your site's design. You need to balance your time and make sure your site content gets the attention it deserves.

Analytics Presentation Now Available for Viewing

The recording of my SEMPDX web analytics presentation, "From Google Analytics to Business Analytics", is now available:

Click here to view it

Why Am I In Marketing? How About You?

[warning - navel gazing ahead]

Why the hell am I in marketing?

When I started college, my plan was to do ROTC and become a pilot.

Then I because a History major and decided to go to law school so I could Save The World.

Then I graduated from Law School and realized I'd be one of the worst lawyers in history.

After a few more years of drifting about, I landed first in copywriting, then in marketing copywriting, then in marketing. Then the internet turned out not to be a fad, and here I am.

So I'm not saving the world. The economy is crashing, the world's screwed up, and I'm helping people decide what to buy. I have a receding hairline, a suburban house, a family car and 10 extra pounds. I'm a sellout! Augh!!!!

Or am I?

Good marketing helps people make the right choice when they're deciding on everything from toilet paper to their next President. I work to market products I like and support, and causes I can get behind. You do, too. If you help one of those products succeed, you're making the world a tad better.

Or, you can just hawk whatever comes your way, collect your check, and go home.

Why did you go into marketing?

Coming Next Week: Web Analytics E-Book

Next week I'll be releasing another e-book. This one will cover web analytics for business.

It's going to use the same format as my SEO Copywriting e-book: Short, very high-level, only the essentials, and really cheap.

This goes along with the webinar I'm doing with SEMPDX.

I'll also be offering a bunch of free copies to folks who want 'em. Follow me on Twitter (@portentint if you'd like to be in on the freebies...

Web Analytics Webinar Today (it's free)

I'll be presenting a webinar today:

Transforming Google Analytics Into Business Analytics
When: Tuesday, December 9, 12 PM PST (that's today)
Where: Here, on the web, silly

The focus: Making actual, real-life use of Google Analytics to grow your business. No fancy shtuff like advanced segments. I'll talk about:

• Data overload and how to avoid it
• The 3 factors you really need to track: Profit, Growth and Pipeline
• The system you need to make it work: Configure, Track, Apply
• How to use click value calculation to simplify it all.
• Real-world examples.

Note: This is not a Google Analytics training webinar. It's a business analytics webinar. So I won't be going over setting up e-commerce tracking or other tech stuff. This one's for the analysts and marketers out there.

I'll also have Q&A at the end.

Sign up!

The Developer's Guide to Internet Marketing

I'm a developer. There, I've said it. I'm out of the closet.

It's a little known fact, but I've been coding web applications since 1995. I used the very first version of ColdFusion (on 1,000 floppy disks), learned PHP while building Prius Mileage and have even (gasp) muddled through Ruby. While object-oriented programming still makes my medulla ache, my geek credentials are intact.

I learned internet marketing as a long-suffering copywriter and a developer at the same time.

So, here are my tips for developers trying to function in the marketing world:

First, marketers never make sense. Don't even try to understand their talk about personas and keywords and the long tail. They're from Laterra, you're from Arbre. Instead, focus on the things that you can influence:

1. Build for speed. A faster site means happier customers and higher search engine rankings. So pay attention to performance-boosters like caching, GZIP compression and stored procedures.
2. Minimize inline scripting. Don't put javascript inline in your code. Put it in separate .js include files. That lets visiting web browsers cache the javascript and speeds site performance. On a busy site it adds up fast.
3. Minimize inline CSS. See #2, above.
4. Follow the design. Your code may make Linus Torvalds weep with joy, but if you force customers to log in every time they want to buy something, your site's doomed. Listen to those annoying usability people. They know a thing or two.
5. Demand a mockup. Before you start coding, someone should give you a screen-by-screen XHTML mockup of how the application should look. All you should have to do is connect that mockup to your application. If it's not built that way you're asking for trouble, because you're being forced to design the interface. Imagine the designers being forced to write code. Make you shudder? Then you get my point.
6. Build strong validation. Make sure you practice really good contingency design. If someone fails to complete a form, give them clear instructions on what to do next, and don't wipe the form. Please. For God's sake. Read Defensive Design for the Web: How to improve error messages, help, forms, and other crisis points (VOICES) to learn more.
7. Code for standards. See all that pretty code in the XHTML mockup? That's there for a reason. Don't just drag-and-drop .NET controls and replace the good code with total crap.
8. Use a framework. I don't care which one, just use it. And don't let the marketing team bully you into hacking together some Frankenstein monster to save a day. Later coders will thank you. So will you if you have to modify your application a year later.
9. Keep URLs short. Shorter URLs make linking easier and mean that search engines will have an easier time crawling and ranking the site. If you don't have to have the category ID in every URL, then don't.
10. Keep URLs friendly. URLs should make sense to the reader. So 'mysite.com/skates' is better than 'mysite.com/asdf.asp?sessionid=1231asdf'. This is not because of search engines. Search engines are fine with dynamic URLs. Rather, the friendly URLs improve clickability. More folks will click on 'skates' than '1231asdf'.
11. Don't worry about friendly URLs. HAHAHAH fooled ya. Not really, actually. But if your site already uses dynamic URLs and has been indexed by search engines, think carefully before you go and change 'em. The price you'll pay in lost rankings and busted links may not be worth it.
12. No session IDs in URLs. If you put session IDs in URLs I will personally hit you with a desk. You need a session ID if someone logs in, starts checkout or does something similar. Otherwise, leave 'em out. And even if you do need those IDs, there's this newfangled thing called a cookie. Use it.
13. No https unless you need it. Don't put every page of a site behind an SSL certificate. Use SSL when folks are exchanging information with the server. Don't argue. I'm an old, cranky prima donna and I'll kick your behind, sonny.
14. Avoid duplication. Never build a cart, CMS or other tool that puts identical content at more than one URL. It's annoying to the users and confusing to search engines.
15. Use consistent canonicalization. The home page lives at www.mydomain.com. Not www.mydomain.com/home/cgi-bin/store/secure/index.htm. Seriously, don't make me come over there. I've got lots of frequent flier miles.
16. Build for analytics. Find out what analytics package your client is using. Include the appropriate code from the start. Building a store? Put the e-commerce tracking code in now, not later. They'll love you for it. If they don't, call me and I'll blow you kisses.
17. Test. A long time ago, in a legendary land, developers tested their code before they chucked it over the wall. Servers didn't crash on grand opening day. CEOs didn't eat handfuls of TUMs. You should aspire to reach that state of geeky nirvana.
18. Stick around. When you finish that last line of code, plan to be available for last-minute changes and emergencies for a while. No matter how well you do, your client or the public will find some way to screw up the works. So don't head for Maui just yet.
19. Communicate. Want to really mess with the client's head? Call them up and say "Hey, can you have a look at the home page. I want to make sure this is how you wanted it to work." After they pick themselves up off the floor, they'll try to figure out how they can keep you around for the next decade.
20. Code for reuse. This should be obvious. But write all your code so you can re-use it later. It helps everyone and makes your job easier over time.
21. Beware AJAX. Download a copy of Lynx, or Firefox and the Web Developer's Toolbar. Check your new site with javascript turned off. Can you still get around? Can you still read all the text? Use AJAX to do everything and the answer will be 'no'. That means mobile users, search engines and anyone else whose browser doesn't support javascript will see a big fat nothing when they visit the site.
22. Build for maintenance. Like it or not, your client is going to want to add a press release, change a title tag or modify something else someday. When they do, do you want to have to personally make the change for them? Didn't think so. Make sure they can edit metadata, page copy and whatever else they might change in the life of the site.
23. Build for structured content. If the site uses a content management system or an online store, make sure your client will be able to independently edit various structural elements on the page: The title tag, description tag, headline and content should all be separately editable. Don't dump the product name into the title tag, or the article into the description tag.
24. Search engines matter. A lot. 75% of everything that happens online starts at a search engine. So don't roll your eyes when someone asks you to make something search-friendly.

Follow these tips and congratulations! You're on the marketing team. Martinis at noon...

25 Random Points about Copywriting

Internet marketing isn't mysterious. It's the writing, stupid.

This is a collection of random thoughts about writing, prompted by someone telling me today that "all you know how to do is write". They were attempting to reduce my price for an SEO project. You inspired me! Cheers!

1. Writing is what makes marketing tick. And the folks who think the internet somehow made writing less important in marketing need CAT scans.
2. Great internet marketing starts with copy that's concise.
3. It requires careful thought around linking and structure.
4. And it needs a great headline. Content with a crappy headline is like telling everyone you have a 'great personality'. No one will give you a chance after that.
5. Devote at least 1/2 of your marketing budget to copy. That might mean 1/2 your SEO budget, or 1/2 the hours you spend marketing your own company. Doesn't matter.
6. Copywriting is an ongoing effort. Spending a day every 2 months frantically cranking out lousy copy won't get you anywhere. The most successful online marketing efforts have great, steady copywriting behind them.
7. Video is not a way to dodge writing copy. HAH. Nice try. But you have to write a script for that video. So write it.
8. Great copy doesn't magically spring from the ground. It takes a lot of revisions, hair-tearing and hand-wringing. You and your writer will revise it. And revise it again. Then fight with busted beer bottles. Then do more revisions. Then it's ready.
9. Running a small business? Start writing.
10. Running a Fortune 500 company? Hire some decent writers, dammit, and stop sending me to web sites that read like a shredded copy of Us Magazine.
11. Want a higher search ranking? Ooooooh, I have an idea! How about if you do some writing.
12. Want links from relevant sites so you get a higher search ranking? Great. Start contacting people. But oh, wait, they all want decent writing to which to link.
13. Need better conversion rates? Assuming your site wasn't designed by a drunk, a moron or someone with zero design experience, you'll want to have decent writing.
14. You can make great stuff happen with great writing and a lousy web site. Try the opposite, though. I dare ya. With lousy writing and a great web site you'll flop around a shrinky-dink in fast motion.
15. Yes, for every example of a great search marketing campaign built on great copy, you can point to some scumbag who got a top search ranking without it. Check again in 3 months. They'll be gone.
16. Anyone who pays $30 million for an ad campaign without seeing a writing sample should be laughed off Capitol Hill when requesting a bailout.
17. It's impossible to edit bad copy. It's easy to edit good copy.
18. Writing is a skill that can be cultivated, if you're up for the effort.
19. The best way to cultivate that skill, next to writing for 3 hours a day, is to read. Watching TV with subtitles does not count.
20. Little known fact: Richard Nixon wouldn't have been impeached if someone had written "Delete these tapes" in a memo. See? Writing's important!
21. People are afraid of writing because it invites criticism. But you become better as a writer only through criticism. Learn from it. I recommend growing up in a Jewish family, or at least attending a few holiday dinners, to build up your resistance.
22. Quality writing is like oxygen: You rarely notice it until it's gone.
23. Lousy writing is like a dirty diaper. You can ignore it, but eventually it leaks out and causes a huge mess. Did I just write that?...
24. Some of us do care if you can use 'palate' and 'palette' correctly in a sentence.
25. Writing is part of your brand, and sets customer expectations. Great, clear writing engenders trust.

K, this writing therapy session is now over.

Someone really did tell me that today. Someday I will become rich by inventing a way to pinch people's noses via the internet.

Sears Surprised by Black Friday Traffic. Cough.

So, Sears, you didn't expect a lot of people on your web site today, the biggest single shopping day of the year?

A few minutes later, we saw this:

Target is up. So is JCPenney, Costco, Walmart, etc.. Too bad for Sears...

The SEO Widow's Holiday Gift Guide: 15 Ideas

SEO widows, you know who you are: Your spouse/significant other comes home with a twinkle in their eye because they just "fixed a major spider trap" or "discovered a new component of the Google TrustRank algorithm". Then they leave for a week to go to some conference, and you get to hear about their drunken exploits on 451 different social media outlets.

Worst of all, you have no idea what to get them for the holidays. What the hell do you buy for someone when their greatest thrill is attracting links from .org domains?

Well, I'm here to help. As a 'high-functioning geek', I can bridge the gap between the Normal and the SERP-obsessed. Here are my picks for great gifts, in no particular order:

1. An iPhone. Duh. It's shiny. Plus, they can put Omnifocus on their phone and make sure they've got their task list prioritized. Whatever the heck that means.
2. The Landing Page Handbook by MarketingSherpa. It costs as much as an iPhone, weighs as much as a phone book, and it'll make your geek weep with joy. In all seriousness, this book can turn the worst landing page campaign around. If that means nothing, don't worry. Buy this, and your SEO-obsessive will make you dinner for a month.
3. Arc Nerf Blaster. First, if you buy this for someone, make sure they promise NOT to use it on you. By the third time they pelt you with foam darts while yelling "DIE DIE DIE" you'll want to ram the entire gun down their throat. But, it's way cool, and if you want the man or woman in your life to win the office arms race, this is a sure winner.
4. The Amazon Kindle. Amazon's e-book reader will make any pasty search engine pirate drool with envy.
5. Wordze Subscription. If you want to see more of your nerdier half, buy them the Wordze keyword service. It'll help them find the best keywords for SEO/SEM projects faster. Translation: They might work less.
6. The Herman Miller Embody. It's absurdly expensive, so don't even bother looking unless you've already got 7 houses. But this chair looks damned comfy. And it has a cool spinal aesthetic. It's just neat.
7. The Electric Drum T-shirt. Like a real drum set, only more annoying. If your significant other is attractive, this shirt will drive away competition like bug repellant.
8. The SEO Copywriting E-book. By me. Cough. I gotta try, right?
9. Bawls Energy Drink. Ever wonder why the most hyper people need MORE caffeine? Me neither. But Bawls will wire them up like no other legal substance. Warning: You may want to give them one bottle at a time, over a period of weeks.
10. The Web Developers Toolbar. Assuming they don't already have this, send 'em the link and say "Happy Winterfest!" It's free, it's awesome, and it'll save them from hours of poring through source code trying to find that one misplaced H1 tag. Translation: It lets them see bad SEO stuff faster.
11. Ogilvy on Advertising. THE guide for all forms of marketing, including search. If they don't like it, leave them. Well, don't leave them, but give them the stink eye.
12. Mad Men, Season 1. Greatest. Drama. Ever. Warning: May give men with chauvinist tendencies ideas. May give women urge to shoot pigeons with BB guns.
13. A Wired subscription. Wired Magazine is the publication for cool geeks. It's sort of our People magazine.
14. Clothes. We can't dress ourselves. Really. My wife has all but given up. Make sure everything goes with everything or we'll end up wearing green socks with a white shirt and black jeans.
15. A Big Wet One. The fact that you're even hanging out with an SEO geek shows just how far the entire species has come. Give 'em a kiss and make it clear you find their little foibles charming.

Why Does (most) Marketing Suck? CM Summit Presentation

Just wrapped up my Conversational Marketing Summit presentation titled 'why does most marketing suck?'.

In it, I review:

• A brief history of marketing, as told by beer.
• Why and how you should select, rather than accumulate, customers.
• How you can better listen to your audience.
• The meaning of life. At least as a marketer.

I also answer several specific questions about social media, PPC and the like.

Here's the recording:

You can also see it at full size: Click here.

Presentation Tomorrow: Conversational Marketing Summit

I'm presenting at a webinar tomorrow: The Conversational Marketing Summit.

My presentation is entitled "Why Does Most Marketing Suck?"

A good time will be had by all. I'm on at 4 PM PST tomorrow, 11/24 (Monday).

You can sign up here

Elite Retreat: Seats Almost Gone

The Elite Retreat is almost totally booked.

With speakers like Jeremy Schoemaker, Neil Patel and Gary Vaynerchuk, you'll want to be there.

Just FYI: They embargo blogging about the details of the event (from what I understand) so if you're hoping I'm going to write lots of cool stuff to teach you everything, you're out of luck.

Go sign up for the Elite Retreat

A Sheet Isn't A Parachute: Lessons in Internet Marketing

Note: The following story is what we call character development. Feel free to skip to 'Lessons in Internet Marketing' if you don't like hearing about people who did even dumber things than you did as a kid.

When I was 14 or so, I jumped off the roof of my house. Holding a sheet over my head. As a parachute. This proves conclusively that teenagers should be locked up in small cages until their raging hormones allow more oxygen to their brains.

I'd assumed, of course, that the sheet would go FUMP and let me drop gently to the ground, victorious before my friends.

Instead, the sheet went PHHHBBTTTTTT and I crashed into the juniper bushes. I was miraculously uninjured. This proves conclusively that teenagers should have their luck bottled up for use later on in life.

My parents apparently had no idea what'd happened until 2 years ago, when my son tattled on me at Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm going somewhere with this.

Lessons in Internet Marketing

I made two mistakes and learned two important lessons that day:

The Crowd Is Rarely Right. First, just because your equally hormone-addled friends say "Ian, you should jump off the roof! It'll be so kewl!" doesn't mean you should. And, just because 400,000 other people think it's worthwhile to:

• Spend $10 a click on the word 'shoes' so that they can Be Number One On Google;
• Invest heavily in banner advertising;
• Buy tons of links;
• Create web sites that are "eye-catching" instead of "useful" or "helpful";
• Spend $4,000,000 on direct mail every year, even though the return is dropping 30% per year;

...doesn't mean you should do it. Even in marketing, following a lot of smart people doing stupid things doesn't make you smart. It makes you a smart person doing something stupid.

Things That Look Easy Rarely Are. I was SHOCKED that my Sears Twin Fitted Bedsheet didn't work as a parachute. What the hell?! The principle looked so easy. Building a website, making it work, building traffic to it and making it perform as a real, profitable business center may look easy. I mean, who can't buy a copy of Dreamweaver and slap something together? Trust me: You're using a bedsheet as a parachute. Hire a professional, or at least talk to one, or go to something like the Elite Retreat and learn from the best.

Learn From My Humiliation

As I plummeted earthward, I distinctly heard my friends laughing hysterically. Even as I crunched into the dry and extremely scratchy juniper bushes, I heard the 'thump' as they fell over in helpless gales of laughter. Apparently, they'd guessed that gravity would defeat cheap cotton any day of the week, and that the 10-foot drop wasn't enough time to make the best parachute on earth save you. They were just looking for a laugh. Jerks.

Amateur internet marketers (and pros) do really stupid things all the time. We They always feel better when another marketer does something even more stupid. So yeah, they'll nudge you towards that $10/click mark, and tell you not to 'waste money' on professional internet marketing help.

Go buy a cheap bedsheet. Put it under your desk. Whenever you're about to spend $10,000 on a banner ad, or invest $10/click to advertise a $5 product, or build a site that 'attracts eyeballs', look at that sheet.

Do you want to be as stupid as I was? Didn't think so.

Did you know I just published an e-book? Well, I did: The Unscary, Real World Guide to SEO Copywriting. Have a look.

SEO Copywriting E-Book: The Unscary, Real-World Guide

SEO still lives and dies based on good copywriting. If you're going to move up in the rankings and stay there, you have to know how to write customer- and search engine-friendly content.

But you're a writer. You shouldn't have to learn about SEO, keyword mining, pagerank and the robots meta tag. You just want to write quality copy that search engines will like.

That's why I wrote The Unscary, Real World Guide to SEO Copywriting. In it, you'll find:

1. Plain language and understandable explanations about why and how search engines review your writing.
2. The six rules for successful SEO copywriting.
3. Guidelines for writing headlines that will attract both search engines and readers.
4. Rules for writing good link text.
5. How to create highly relevant 'clusters' of content on your site.
6. Not a single use of the word 'algorithm'.

The book's short, sweet and to the point: 30 pages, 6 rules for better SEO copywriting.

You can get it now. It costs $5. That's, what, one really lousy lunch?

Purchase and Download: $5

You'll receive an e-mail with a download link within a few minutes.

Don't Trust Google for SEO Advice

At least, take everything they say with a grain of salt.

Today, they came out with their 'SEO Starter Guide'. I downloaded it and took a quick look.

And I've finally lost patience. So here I go on a Graywolf-style rant:

Inconsistencies in the SEO Guide: Dynamic URLs

On page 6 they say "Improve the structure of your URLs". The authors point at URLs that have lots of dross like 'mysite.com/folder1/1089257/x1/0000002a.htm' and say that's not user friendly. They're right. What they don't say is that this URL is clearly dynamically generated. No sane human being would create a page address like that.

A professional SEO will always recommend keyword-relevant, clickworthy URLs like 'mysite.com/bicycles/schwinn/mountain-bikes.htm' instead.

To create that more friendly URL, you'd have to rewrite the dynamic URL using some kind of URL rewriting tool like mod_rewrite.

So, Google's recommending you rewrite dynamic URLs. Fine. As an SEO, I'll always suggest that if it's possible, and if it won't kill already strong rankings.

But, this statement is a direct contradiction of their post just 6 weeks ago, though, they were very specific in stating you should not rewrite dynamic URLs.

And of course, that post was a change in their previous policy.

K guys, I've tried to stick up for you on this while you flop back and forth on the dynamic URL question like a fish slowly dying on the bottom of a boat. But I've had it. Pick a damned policy and stick with it, or stop trying to pretend you have one.

Exclusions from the SEO Guide

Google doesn't talk about your page's semantic outline. They mention headings, but ignore paragraph tags, lists and other structural elements that are critical to successful SEO.

They ignore the importance of content clustering and hub pages. Instead they provide a one-paragraph example of a content outline that, if used by any site of reasonable size, will result in 99% of your content being buried deeper than George Bush's popularity rating.

They also ignore blended search, semantic relationships between different terms, any discussion of pagerank, the potential damage caused by Flash or AJAX, the importance of standards compliance or how to display products on a page.

None of these items are essential to basic SEO. So strictly speaking, I guess Google's guide is just fine. Sort of like knowing half the flight manual is 'just fine'.

The Real Problem

Google's guide doesn't say anything horrifying (except where they contradict their own policies, but I already covered that). But many beginners will download it, read it and think they're set. And they aren't. Implying this guide is an introduction to SEO is dangerous. It might be a very high-level introduction to basic principles of site building. Maybe.

But an intro to SEO? If you believe that, I've got a bailout package for ya.

Always Remember

Google is a private entity. They are a large group of brilliant people who've made one of the best search engines on earth. They deserve a lot of props for that, which I regularly deliver.

But they do not have your best interests at heart. I'm not implying some kind of conspiracy - Google's a business. They have their best interests at heart. As they should.

They do offer great advice on selecting an SEO, which makes sense: A good SEO will help them sort out their rankings, which will bring happier searchers. That then generates more clicks they can sell via Adwords.

But SEO advice? I don't think so...

End of rant.

Segmentation = Happiness: My SEMPDX Presentation

Why do internet marketers need to understand segmentation? So they don't act like airlines, of course.

That was my topic last night at the SEMPDX Hotseat. I just uploaded my slides, with backup text, to SlideShare. I provide a walkthrough of Google Analytics' new Advanced Segments feature, as well as my thoughts on checked baggage fees:

Enjoy...

15 Rules for Business Bloggers

Blogs are the new web sites. Marketers launch 'em because they think they need 'em. They don't consider the time commitment required, goals or why their audience would want to hear from them.

Then the blog dangles off the corporate site like an appendix until it irritates someone in the organization, at which point it's removed.

It's a shame, because blogs can do a lot for your business:

• Humanize it.
• Let the you share your business philosophy.
• Leak exciting news or 'teasers' about new products.
• Allow you to solicit direct feedback.
• Add search-engine-friendly content to your site.

So make the most of business blogging. Follow a few rules and you'll have a business blog that actually helps you grow online:

1. Take the B.S. test. Can you come up with three things to write that won't include one shred of marketing B.S. about your organization? If so, move on to #2. If you can't, give it up. No one wants to read a blog that does nothing but hawk your own products/services. It's like going on a really bad date where your companion constantly talks about themselves.
2. Write your passion. Write about what you care about. If you're the head of marketing for a plumber, write about that time your toilet got plugged up. If you own a chicken farm, write about the beauty of eggs.
3. Don't worry about what 'they' want to read. 'They' are not your audience. Your audience will show up as you write to your passion, because they share it. And don't tell me no one else cares. With 6 billion people on this polluted planet, you can probably find a few thousand interested in just about everything.
4. Commit to writing. Plan to write 30 minutes a day. That may not produce one post a day. That's fine. But by writing 30 minutes a day you refine your art, practice writing and pull together a consistent stream of useful content. Some posts may take 15 minutes to write. Others may take a week. It's the steady work that matters.
5. Look in the mirror. Say "But I don't have anything to say 50 times. Each time you say it, slap yourself silly. Eventually, you'll train yourself out of that ridiculous statement. You've got a career, a life, a business. You have things you care about. You definitely have something to say.
6. Learn grammar. You're representing your business. You'd better be able to write a complete sentence.
7. Learn to spell. Actually, you don't even have to learn to spell. Learn to use a spell checker. Learn not to mis-spell.
8. Set up a Feedburner feed. Visit Feedburner.com and 'burn' your RSS feed. If you won't know what that means, learn.
9. Read other blogs. Learn to use Google Reader or a similar feed reader. Follow other blogs you like. They don't all have to be related to yours. Learn the medium.
10. Don't advertise. Yes, I know I have ads plastered all over this site. This site is my blog, not my company blog. The ad revenues feed my Kit Kat addiction to the tune of $100/month. If you're blogging on your company site, don't include ads. They won't earn anything anyway, and they'll drive away readers.
11. Comment on other blogs. See an interesting post on a related blog? Join the discussion! Leave a comment. It's the best way to introduce yourself. Bloggers don't meet by accident - you need to get the conversation going.
12. Link to between your blog posts. Link to other related posts on your blog, because that draws the reader further in, which translates to a more interested visitor.
13. Link to other blogs. If you find a great post on another blog, link to it and explain why your readers should see it. That blog's author will see the link and may someday reciprocate.
14. Take responsibility. Learn the tools you're using to blog. Learn to create a heading, a link, a list and a blockquote using your blog editor. Learn to work with images, too. These are not difficult things to do, or to learn. It's your responsibility to know them so that you can produce the best-quality blog posts possible.
15. Enjoy! If blogging becomes slogging, you need a break.

This post is part of a four-post series by myself, Marcelo Calbucci, Carolynn Duncan and Scot Herrick. Read their excellent pieces:

Finding Your Blogging Voice by Marcelo Calbucci
Setting up your Blog by Carolynn Duncan
Blogging for your Career by Scot Herrick

Speaking at SEMPDX HotSeat Tomorrow - Come Heckle

I'm speaking at the SEMPDX Hotseat tomorrow night at 6:30. The topic: Web Analytics - Do you know what you're looking at?

More important, my co-panelist is Eric Peterson of Web Analytics Demystified fame.

I will have just driven for 4 hours.

He will have just driven for 10 minutes.

Come see just how looped I can get on caffeine while driving the I-5 corridor. It's worth it...

Marketing Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome: Dino Rossi Swallows Entire Leg

I'm sure Dino Rossi is sitting somewhere right now, wondering why he lost this election. After all, he was up against some dang tax-and-spend liberal.

It might have something to do with his marketing strategy. He used these signs quite a bit during the campaign:

Photo from Hal Mueller

It's a clever message: Teach all those damned Seattle elitists a lesson. It might have worked in Wenatchee, or Spokane.

Problem is, he put them up in Seattle.

Yes, you read right. I'm a Seattle elitist myself. I passed one of these signs driving over the West Seattle Bridge today.

Rule number one in political marketing: Don't insult your supporters, or your competitor's. These signs were the equivalent of Rossi himself standing in downtown Seattle giving passersby the finger. They were not well-received. Cough.

So, Dino, next time around, hire a smarter campaign staff. Or a marketer or two. Or at least endeavor to not insult one of the biggest voting populations in your state.

Photo from Hal Mueller's blog. Thanks!!!!!

Internet Marketing Is Risky

Internet marketing is not safe. No marketing is.

It's risky because:

1. You're marketing to human beings. Human beings aren't all that predictable, unless you throw a $100 bill in front of them, or light their shoes on fire.
2. The world's complicated. Markets implode. Hurricanes happen. Or someone with the same name as your product does something great and sends sales skyrocketing.
3. You're spending money that you can't get back on something that can't be guaranteed.

It doesn't matter. You still have to do it. You have to take risks, and risk being wrong, if you're going to get it right once in a while.

So, a few suggestions for all you folks who ask me things like "Can you guarantee you'll triple my sales?" and "How do I know it'll work?":

1. Understand that this is an experiment. We will test and observe. If one campaign fails, we still learn and are better prepared for the next one.
2. Preserve a margin for error. If you're one failed campaign away from bankruptcy, something is wrong at a deeper level than your marketing. Step back and assess.
3. Prepare to adapt. Here's a test: Can you get a basic change made to the text on one page of your site in less than 2 hours? If you answer "yes", great. If you answer "It takes IT 3 days", you're screwed. Sorry.
4. Collect data. Document everything. Use everything as a learning experience.
5. If you fail, study, learn and start again.
6. Ask for advice! There are lots of people (like me) who will happily give out advice (to a point). Follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn or Facebook. Yeah, I'll try to sell you services, or at least a book, but I'll give you advice, too.
7. Realize it will never 'settle down'. Marketing has never been consistent. There's no one system that works. In fact, marketing is a bit like 15 little kids at a birthday party, all hyped up on cake and soda pop. They may laugh, cry or tear your house down. So you need to be ready to smile, hug or put them in restraints. But I digress...
8. It's fun! Internet marketing is the best game on earth. You get to try stuff, measure and try again so fast it'll make your head spin. And success is nearly inevitable, as long as you try again.

The End.

Election Day Guide

It's a momentous day, so instead of blathering on about marketing, here's a few handy links for tracking the polls and the news around today's election:

Slate's hour-by-hour guide to the election is a good run-down of what's going to happen when.

Polltrack has tons of maps, graphs and data for all you numbers geeks.

I've always liked CNN's poll tracker, too.

Electoral-vote.com is my favorite for their averaging of data across many polls. They'll be liveblogging tonight.

What links are you going to follow?

12 Reasons to Go to the Elite Retreat

Update: I'm going! See you there!

Jeremy Schoemaker and his gang of internet marketing geeks just opened their second annual Elite Retreat for registration. It's expensive. Really expensive. So expensive that if you have to ask, you may as well move on. But it's the best dollars you can spend, because:

1. Jeremy Schoemaker earns money hand over fist. Online. With a computer and stuff. We're talking great big gobs of cash, not little bits here and there.
2. He's one of the speakers.
3. Aaron Wall, SEO guru, is another speaker.
4. Kris Jones, Mr. PepperJam Network, is another speaker.
5. Neil Patel, marketing consultant and money generating machine, is also speaking.
6. Plus a bunch of other experts. The Elite Retreat basically brings together all the people I hate for their ability to earn skads of cash online. Then they teach you for two days straight.
7. If you go, you can tell me wither Jeremy's growth of baldness is natural or if he shaves his head. Just look for stubble. I don't know why, but I've always been curious...
8. You'll come home knowing more than me about earning cash online. Then you can launch your own blog, outrank me, earn more money and leave me wandering the wasteland of my former expertise. It'll be fun.
9. As investments go, it's a sure thing. A slam dunk. A no-brainer. There is no other opportunity to get Q&A time with these experts for two days straight. If you're looking for a way to grow your online hobby into a moneymaker, this is your chance. If you don't earn the investment back in two months, fly to Seattle and beat me senseless.
10. I'll be jealous. You'll become one of the people I hate for their ability to earn skads of cash online. See #6. I'm going. So I won't be jealous.
11. If you think it's not worth around $4900 to get Shoemoney's secrets, you're insane.
12. If all else fails, you can get one of the speakers plastered, take compromising photos of them in a goth bar in the Castro District and then blackmail them for millions.

But hey, don't take my word for it. I'm working out how I can go myself. If you don't sign up, that leaves a spot for me.

Oh, yeah, I didn't mention that. They only enroll 35 people.

Learn more about the Elite Retreat and sign up before all the seats are gone: Click here.

Find Me Online

Every now and then I let folks know the various places you can follow or connect with me online. I'm working on consolidating a bit, so here are the current online places I hang out:

LinkedIn.com/in/ianlurie
Twitter.com/Portentint
Facebook

Follow/connect and I'll follow back. I'm always up for a good conversation.

Do Pumpkins Float?

Happy Halloween everyone.

Stop Plagiarism in 3 Easy Steps

I recommend the death penalty for plagiarism. Until that happy day arrives, I'll share a technique that at least makes life harder for thieving scumbags.

Step One: Trap Your Post

First, you need to add a trap to your blog post. Usually that means an invisible GIF image. Use your image editing software to create a 10x10 pixel image that matches the background of your blog or that's transparent.

Insert that into your blog somewhere where no one will notice. Use the absolute address for the image. So:

http://www.conversationmarketing.com/images/trap.gif

instead of just

images/trap.gif

Don't include a height or width attribute.

Save your blog post. You now have a hidden image in your post that, if someone cuts-and-pastes the content, will get transferred to their blog. And the image will still be stored on your server.

If you replace the image with something else, the new image will show up, full size, on the thief's blog.

I'm selling out:

Step Two: Find the Scumbags

A few days later, copy one sentence from your blog post.

Put it in quotes.

Then paste it into Google and find other blogs that have the same text. In this example, I found one genuine copycat who was also stupid enough to keep my GIF image, and keep it linking to my server:

If I replace trap.gif on my server with another image, it'll show up on his or her blog. Mwahahahahaha....

Step Three: Have Some Fun!

Since this genius copied this post word-for-word, they also copied the trap image. And, they copied the image, which is still being loaded from your server.

Remove the trap.gif image from your post - you don't want whatever you create showing up on your blog, after all.

Then replace trap.gif on your server with anything you want. The result:

Weeee. You can, of course, use any image you want. I had something far worse in there at first, but removed it because I realized my son might read it.

I'm selling out:

Notice to All Thieves

Keep stealing my content if you want. I will keep finding new ways to mess with you and your blogs. Yes, you can always find a way to work around it. But is it worth it?

Did you know I just published an e-book? Well, I did: The Unscary, Real World Guide to SEO Copywriting. Have a look.

My Company's Hiring

Portent Interactive is now hiring: Portent's Seeking SEO Interns

Don't know who the smartass was that wrote that post...

A Copywriter's Practical Guide To Smart Internal Linking

Yo, copywriters. If you freak out about semantic markup, then you have varying degrees of apoplexy over links. But linking is a critical part of smart online copy. Links are why it's called the world wide web, and not the world wide collection of random disconnected bits and pieces.

So you need to learn. Here's a quick tutorial from me, a one-time marketing copywriter. This doesn't go into a lot of theory - it's strictly step-by-step.

This article is just about internal links - the links you create from one page on your site to another page on your site. If you're nice, I might do another one about external links.

Prologue: Rules for Linking

First, the basics:

1. Every article you publish should have at least one link to related content elsewhere on your site, right in the article text. The 'related articles' list doesn't count. That way, if some jackass cut-and-pastes your article onto their spam blog, they create a link back to you.
2. No article should have so many links that it looks like a rabid two-year-old with a permanent marker and a ruler went berserk. If you don't know where the line exists between too many and just enough links, then you shouldn't be writing online.
3. Links should clearly indicate what they're linking to.
4. You must have a plan for your links, and that plan must create hubs.

I'll explain each of these as we go through the steps for creating useful links in your blog or web site.

Step 1: Know Where You're Linking

You just finished your article. It's ready to publish. Now, where are you going to point that link (or those links)?

Find an article, product or other content on your site that's either related to your new content, provides an opposing viewpoint, or supports your assertions. If you can't find anything, fire yourself. The next writer will figure it out, I'm sure.

K, found the article? Open it in your browser, if you haven't already. Now, in your browser's address bar, select the entire address of that page:

Click "Edit>Copy". That copies the page address (URL) to your clipboard.

Paste that somewhere - anywhere. A text editor will do. You just don't want to lose it if your computer crashes, or if you pound your fists bloody on your keyboard after reading this article.

Step 2: Figure Out Your Link Text

Now you need to figure out where, and how, you're going to link to that page. Sometimes it's easy: Last week I wrote a piece about semantic markup for copywriters. So, if you look at the first paragraph of this article, you'll see that I created a link to that article right there.

A few good tips for link text:

1. If you take that link text and write it on an empty whiteboard, someone else in your office should be able to figure out what the target page will be about. So To l